1. Train your horses when they are calm and composed.  The time to work on managing your anger or sexual impulses is when you are not aggressively or sexually revved up.  Your cognitive machinery doesn’t function well when adrenaline is blasting through your body.

Learning to handle drives and desires is something virtually anyone can master.  But it isn’t an easy skill to learn.  It takes times and hard work.  But we have watched hundreds of healthy people learn to use their most intense feelings for the benefit of their personal and relational growth.  This skill is best learned when their drives are dormant.

 

Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger. – The apostle Paul, in Ephesians 4:26, NRSV

 

  1. Take good care of your horses.  Once you learn how to direct your sexual and angry impulses for the betterment of your life, don’t allow any of these powerful feelings to get stale, lose their vitality, or die early deaths.

In relation to anger, don’t try to minimize it or repress it.  Rather, work to remain hypersensitive to injustice and hurt – in your life and the lives of others.  Moreover, stay idealistic about your life goals; dare to dream big dreams and pursue large visions.  Clearly, your pursuit of these goals and dreams will set you up for all kinds of frustration, and this frustration will produce anger for you.  Terrific!  You now know exactly how to manage the energy from this anger to your advantage.

 

The same is true of your sexual feelings.  We know of people who still enjoy sexual vitality at ninety years of age, and that’s fantastic.  Any person who has sexual impulses can utilize the accompanying power to achieve their fondest goals.

 

  1. When you become skilled, take on apprentice drivers.  We have noted that great managers of strong inner impulses become eve more proficient when they teach their secrets to “younger and less experienced drivers.”  In the very act of helping others master this set of skills, the rules for maximizing your own abilities will become even clearer and more achievable.

Never lose your temper, except intentionally. – Dwight Eisenhower


Healthy People Are Wild – and in Control

You have plenty of angry and sexual feelings.  God himself blessed you with these.  However much you may try to hide these feelings, you are probably quite aware of them deep within your heart and mind.  If you think you’re not very angry or very sexual, you are likely just fooling yourself and engaging in unnecessary denial.

 

To the degree that you use all this powerful energy for good, your life will turn from ordinary to extraordinary, dull to dynamic.  You will be able to do exciting and magnificent things – far beyond anything you may have dreamed.