He Said-She Said: A Past History of Homosexuality
- Thursday, October 28, 2010
The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and wonderful results (James 5:16).
Only you can decide if you can live with this knowledge of his past. It is your choice to observe and accept the actions of his heart and wholeheartedly trust him or not.
In the end, it is your decision whether you are going to further the relationship or not.
SHE SAID: As someone whose family has been affected by the devastation that homosexuality can wreak in a marriage (and in a family), I can definitely understand your hesitation in going forward in this relationship—and even toward marriage.
This is a very difficult question to answer with just a "yes" or a "no," as I think the answer will be different for anyone reading this. What may "freeze" one person in his or her tracks in a relationship may not be what freezes someone else. If someone has a past of promiscuity or drug dependency or crime or abuse or pornography or whatever, the issue needs to be weighed very carefully by the other person in the relationship. The baggage that results from any of our past or present sin issues or struggles (whatever they may be) is brought with someone into a relationship. And so each person must decide what he or she can handle. Two become one in marriage and will bear each other's burdens. Ask any married couple with a healthy relationship who you know, and they will verify that.
In your situation, I will first answer by cautioning you to not move forward unless you have a sense of peace in this situation.
By the time someone is in his or her late 30s to mid-40s, then the mold is pretty much set. We are who we are by that point in life. That is not saying that God cannot do a miraculous work in our lives, but it is to say that something we struggle with today will likely be something we struggle with for the rest of our lives. You can confirm that fairly easily by just doing an informal poll with elderly people you might know (family or otherwise) and ask them what is something they've struggled with for long periods in their lives (if not their entire lifetimes).
Personally, I know what I struggle with in regards to sin issues, and it hasn't changed in many years and crops up just when I feel like I've "conquered" it or am not tempted anymore. But when I stumble, I find that I am humbled and am once again seeking God's continuing cleansing and restorative work in me. In times like that, I realize how much I need a wonderful, merciful Savior and his redeeming blood to cover me and my transgressions. Amen?
In any type of serious life struggle, many believers look to the Apostle Paul as an example of someone who dealt with something that continually afflicted him—a thorn in his flesh. In 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, we read:
To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in my weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
We don't know for sure what Paul's thorn was—whether it was a physical ailment, spiritual attacks or just what. But we do know that he greatly struggled with it, and it caused him to cry out to the Father for relief. Paul was humbled, and because of his weakness Christ's power was displayed mightily through his life (Also, think of all that Paul accomplished for the Kingdom in his work of spreading the Gospel and in writing a large portion of the New Testament—God was still glorified through Paul's life, thorn in his flesh and all!).
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