So, since there is so much that is unknown here, it is best to take a step or two back to get a better perspective.  Pray about this matter and ask the Lord to reveal to you what you cannot see and what you really should see in this situation. 

And then finally, here is what you may not want to hear:  What is most important is not that you win the affections of this young man (and you probably already know that or you wouldn’t be asking how to face this situation).  What is most important is that you must love your brother and sister in Christ and act in a manner that demonstrates this.  Period.  That is what you and me and every other believer is called to do. …

But I tell you who hear me:  Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.  If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also.  If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic.  Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.  Do to others as you would have them do to you (Luke 6:27-31). 

If you really do like this young man, you may view your female friend as an “enemy” right now.  Even a “frenemy,” to echo a current buzz word.  But by shifting your focus, God can change your heart and will show you how he wants you to treat these friends and/or how close your friendships with them should be. 

He may change your desire (toward the young man).  But certainly he will give you the compassion it is going to take to treat both of these friends as you would want to be treated in a situation where feelings beyond friendship are most likely involved. 

HE is … Cliff Young, a contributing writer and a veteran single of many decades.  He has traveled the world in search of fresh experiences, serving opportunities, and the perfect woman (for him) and has found that his investments in God, career and youth ministry have paid off in priceless dividends.

SHE is …
Laura MacCorkle,’s Senior Entertainment Editor.  She loves God, her family and and her friends.  Singleness has taught her patience, deepened her walk with the Lord and afforded her countless (who’s counting anyway?) opportunities to whip up an amazing three-course meal for one.

DISCLAIMER:  We are not trained psychologists or licensed professionals.  We’re just average folk who understand what it’s like to live the solo life in the 21st century.  We believe that the Bible is our go-to guide for answers to all of life’s questions, and it’s where we’ll go for guidance when responding to your questions.

GOT A QUESTION?  If you’ve got a question about anything related to living the single life, PLEASE SUBMIT HERE (selected questions will be posted anonymously).  While we are unable to answer every inquiry, we do hope that He Said-She Said will be an encouragement to you.

**This column first published on March 5, 2009.