He Said-She Said: Is Chivalry Necessary?
- Thursday, October 01, 2009
Now, why do I say it is "necessary" and we "need" it? Well, as touched on in a few of the above comments, chivalry is what further defines the role of a man in a relationship involving a man and a woman. And this in turn, helps further define the role of a woman. Think on that for a moment.
But … equal? Yes. Different? Most definitely yes. And that's where there seems to be confusion in the battle of the sexes. God created male and female in his image. Male and female. Not male and male or female and female. Or even unisex and unisex.
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them (Genesis 1:27).
God created man first out of the dust of the earth (Genesis 2:7). He gave him the responsibility of working in the Garden of Eden and taking care of it (Genesis 2:15). He was the overseer. The caretaker.
But man needed a companion.
The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him" (Genesis 2:18).
Interesting. A "helper." Someone "suitable." Not someone exactly like the man. Not someone equipped to do the same sorts of things. But someone who complements man and is a good fit.
So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man (Genesis 2:21-22).
From the "side" of the man was where the woman was created. When you are "side by side" with someone, that usually indicates solidarity, agreement, support and loyalty.
So why am I taking you (and myself) through this mini refresher? To remind us all that God created men and women differently, but purposefully and specifically, and for each other. I was created for a man. And a man was created for me. (Not sure yet when the right one will show up, but I trust that God knows what he's doing!).
I believe you "enjoy" being chivalrous (as you've indicated in your question) because you were designed in this way. It's in your wiring to want to "work" and "take care of" something … and someone. And a woman (your "helper") was created to be suitable for you. In order to be suitable, she must complement you, allow you to be you (in your God-designed role) and not try to be you (i.e. a man). And when you are reaching out to "take care of," I think it's God's plan that she would respond by being receptive to what we are defining as chivalry (which represents sacrifice, service and even love).
The world has distorted and perverted this design, God's carefully orchestrated plan for the sexes. That's my belief (and interpretation of Scripture). And apparently, it's shared by the female friends who commented above and perhaps many others who read this column each month.
So I join with them today and encourage you to "chivalry on." Keep reaching out in kindness. And be the man God created you to be!
HE is … Cliff Young, a Crosswalk.com contributing writer and a veteran single of many decades. He has traveled the world in search of fresh experiences, serving opportunities, and the perfect woman (for him) and has found that his investments in God, career and youth ministry have paid off in priceless dividends.
SHE is … Laura MacCorkle, Senior Editor at Crosswalk.com. She loves God, her family and her friends. Singleness has taught her patience, deepened her walk with the Lord and afforded her countless (who's counting anyway?) opportunities to whip up an amazing three-course meal for one.
DISCLAIMER: We are not trained psychologists or licensed professionals. We're just average folk who understand what it's like to live the solo life in the 21st century. We believe that the Bible is our go-to guide for answers to all of life's questions, and it's where we'll go for guidance when responding to your questions. Also, it's important to note that we write our answers separately (we think they sound eerily similar sometimes, too!).
GOT A QUESTION? If you've got a question about anything related to living the single life, PLEASE SUBMIT HERE (selected questions will be posted anonymously). While we are unable to answer every inquiry, we do hope that He Said-She Said will be an encouragement to you.
**This column first published on October 1, 2009.
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