He Said-She Said: Letting Go of the Parenting Dream
- Thursday, November 06, 2008
Foster care may be open to single adults and might be another avenue for reaching your parenting dream.
Organizations that help a young person experience their dream or potential, like Make-a-Wish, Starlight Foundation or Special Olympics are always looking for volunteers. By helping someone reach their dream, you may in fact discover your own.
(Broadly) speaking for men, we do have a longer “shelf life” for fathering a child, yet we have many of the same desires, concerns and fears about getting married and starting a family.
Men have an innate ability to act tough in the face of their own fears, however, there are many (including myself) who wonder if the Lord has called us to be a father someday. Just because we are descendants of Abraham, doesn’t mean we can father children until we are 100 years old.
You may have put yourself out into the world, joined activities at your church, pursued opportunities with people, registered with an online dating service, gone out on blind dates, but haven’t moved any closer to your dream. Don’t lose hope.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life (Proverbs 13:12).
We can all attest to how hope deferred has made our hearts sick in one way or another. Don’t allow it to dictate how you live your life. Seeking happiness through something on earth is fleeting. Nothing can give you the joy (and peace) that comes through your relationship with Jesus. He promises us more than we could dream or desire and that will be our tree of life.
(God) has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ…. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe (Ephesians 1:3, 18-19).
You are blessed to have friends around you who “won’t let you” give up your parenting dream. Keep giving your dream over to the Lord and let Him take care of the rest.
There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.
— Saint Thomas Aquinas
SHE SAID: “Letting go” of dreams … well, it’s hard to do. We all have different desires in our hearts. Some are of our own making, and some (I believe) have been given to us by the Lord.
The Bible does not prescribe a specific timeline for when you are to “let go” of dreams. We are merely instructed to trust the Lord and to follow the path that he lays out for our lives.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6).
But before the path is straightened out and while it is still crooked and we can’t see what’s up ahead … that’s when it’s hard to trust. And that’s when we can get frustrated and wonder if we’ll ever reach the realization of a particular dream.
You have had a dream to be a parent, but now you are “letting go.” And meanwhile, your friends don’t want you to do this. That can be a difficult place to be as I’m sure they only want the best for you, and in their minds you shouldn’t abandon a dream (most likely a God-given dream!) that you have long held. But maybe that’s not what’s really going on here. Maybe you aren’t really giving up on the parenting dream, and maybe the Lord is impressing upon you to just reposition it for now.
A couple of years ago, the Lord asked me to set aside a particular dream of mine because I had made it an idol in my life. Not only was I clutching it very protectively, but I was worshipping it—living, breathing and non-stop journaling about it! It was getting in the way of my spiritual growth, and so he was asking me to give it back to him.
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