As I have grown deeper in my faith, I can see myself letting go of these old notions and embracing whatever God has in store for me.  Bottom line, it is a matter of trust.  Do I trust in myself when it comes to determining the right spouse for me OR do I trust in the Creator of the Universe?  The Master Designer who knew me before I was born.  A Heavenly Father who knows the exact number of hairs on my head.  The One who knows better who is right for me should he desire that I marry.

So I join with you in presenting my spousal requests to God.  And I hope that we will both approach our Father accompanied by heart attitudes with thanksgiving, as Paul says in Philippians.  I don't think it matters as much what we request, but how we are bringing our desires before the Throne of Grace ("I need, I want, I have to have" versus "I desire this, Father, but your will be done, as I know your ways are higher than mine and only you know what is best for my life").

God is bigger than our requests when it comes to a spouse or the emptiness we may feel in a present season of singleness.  And he will form and shape our hearts to accept and receive whatever—or whomever!—he is bringing our way. 

We aren't promised understanding, but when we give our requests to him, we are promised his peace that will embrace us, guard us and free us from the shackles of ourselves (our selfishness, our anxiety, our worries) to seek God's kingdom and his righteousness (Matthew 6:25-33).


HE is … Cliff Young, a contributing writer and a veteran single of many decades.  He has traveled the world in search of fresh experiences, serving opportunities, and the perfect woman (for him) and has found that his investments in God, career and youth ministry have paid off in priceless dividends.

SHE is …
Laura MacCorkle, Senior Editor at  She loves God, her family and her friends.  Singleness has taught her patience, deepened her walk with the Lord and afforded her countless (who's counting anyway?) opportunities to whip up an amazing three-course meal for one. 

DISCLAIMER:  We are not trained psychologists or licensed professionals.  We're just average folk who understand what it's like to live the solo life in the 21st century.  We believe that the Bible is our go-to guide for answers to all of life's questions, and it's where we'll go for guidance when responding to your questions.  Also, it's important to note that we write our answers separately (we think they sound eerily similar sometimes, too!). 

GOT A QUESTION?  If you've got a question about anything related to living the single life, PLEASE SUBMIT HERE (selected questions will be posted anonymously).  While we are unable to answer every inquiry, we do hope that He Said-She Said will be an encouragement to you.

**This column first published on November 26, 2009.