He Said-She Said: Should I Get Married While in Seminary?
- Thursday, February 12, 2009
Your final option (that I can see in your scenario) would be to take some time off from your relationship and to focus solely on your seminary studies. If the temptation to be intimate is too strong, it is better to separate for a while than to continue dating (and that goes for any couple, whether in seminary or not). See 1 Corinthians 6:18-20. I am not suggesting that you could never date again or that your girlfriend is not your future wife (she very well may be!). But your desire to remain pure should be a higher priority than your desire to continue dating your girlfriend. If you cannot refrain from sexual immorality and continue to date her (and you are not ready to marry), then you would need to separate and finish out your remaining years of seminary without being in a relationship. You could then reassess your situation (and your relationship) after graduation.
Clearly, from the tone of your question, your heart is heavy and you want to do the right thing. I commend you for being cautious and thoughtful before making any sort of major change—and also for being respectful of and considering your father’s counsel. As I’m sure you already have, continue to take these matters to the Lord in prayer. One way or the other, he will clear away the indecision, give you peace regarding your situation and you will know what path you are supposed to take (Prov. 3:5-6).
HE is … Cliff Young, a Crosswalk.com contributing writer and a veteran single of many decades. He has traveled the world in search of fresh experiences, serving opportunities, and the perfect woman (for him) and has found that his investments in God, career and youth ministry have paid off in priceless dividends.
SHE is … Laura MacCorkle, Crosswalk.com’s Senior Entertainment Editor. She loves God, her family and and her friends. Singleness has taught her patience, deepened her walk with the Lord and afforded her countless (who’s counting anyway?) opportunities to whip up an amazing three-course meal for one.
DISCLAIMER: We are not trained psychologists or licensed professionals. We’re just average folk who understand what it’s like to live the solo life in the 21st century. We believe that the Bible is our go-to guide for answers to all of life’s questions, and it’s where we’ll go for guidance when responding to your questions.
GOT A QUESTION? If you’ve got a question about anything related to living the single life, PLEASE SUBMIT HERE (selected questions will be posted anonymously). While we are unable to answer every inquiry, we do hope that He Said-She Said will be an encouragement to you.
**This column first published on February 12, 2009.
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