He Said-She Said: Time to Find a Husband?
- Wednesday, February 06, 2008
A godly Christian single woman deserves the kind of man that the Bible talks about:
- In the image of God (Genesis 1:27)
- In the pursuit of righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness (1Timothy 6:11)
- In God’s will (John 9:31)
“God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised. When God made his promise to Abraham, since there was no greater for him to swear by, he swore by himself, saying ‘I will surely bless you and give you many descendants.’ And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised” (Hebrews 6:10-15).
Lift up your desires to the Lord. Let him direct your steps and show you the plans that He has for you. Don’t discount someone just because he doesn’t fit into what you think that you’re looking for. May the Lord give you the desires of your heart as you seek Him and someone to come alongside on your journey.
SHE SAID: Well, girlfriend … I have been there. A few years ago, I felt like it was my “time.” In fact, at different points in my adult life, people have told me that it’s my “time” to get married.
My responses to these various (and well meaning) individuals have been just as varied. Once, because a friend had signed up and was having some success, I quickly decided that I should try out online dating, too. Okay, I actually tried it three times, and it didn’t work for me. What I found in the profiles never matched up with what I met in person. But on the flip side of that, I do know a couple who met online and married within a year. They are two peas in a pod and believe that God led them to try online dating, so that they would meet one another.
I also have read a whole lot of dating advice books that have told me how to get a date with someone, where to look, how to make myself more available, etc. I’m not knocking these resources, because the majority that I read are filled with practical info. But they’re not an “add water and stir” instant remedy to my single situation. And that’s what I was mistakenly looking for when reading through them breathlessly.
The last, concerted “I need to find a husband now!” effort involved me joining a new social group. Someone had questioned: “Who do you hang out with?” As in, “why don’t you have a group of the Friends sitcom type of friends who are your own age and shoe size?" And so I gave it the ol’ college try—I really did. But it just wasn’t right. I didn’t fit in, didn’t find friendships that could deepen and grow and didn't find a "Boaz" type of man (see the book of Ruth). And in hindsight, I think that that was part of God’s plan.
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