Isaiah scolded the Israelites for fasting for unrighteous motives (Isaiah 58) and Jesus warned His followers about fasting in order to be admired by others (Matthew 6:16-18).

"Is it okay to fast for a mate" depends upon your motives.  If you want to fast in order gain clarity or hear from God about the direction for your relationship, great.  However, if you are fasting in order for your potential mate to change or do something, I would caution and suggest you seek further biblical and pastoral insight.

SHE SAID:  I don't see why not.  When fasting is mentioned in God's Word—besides being a sign of mourning—I find that it is done so to aid in focusing and in humility, as well as with worship and in seeking the Lord's direction through prayer.  I can't speak from personal experience when it comes to fasting, however, I have gone through times of great sacrifice when the Lord stripped away many amenities, comforts or relationships in my life to which I had grown accustomed.  In this time of sacrifice, I was drawn to my knees, drawn to the Word and drawn to seek him more than I was doing beforehand.  If you are petitioning the Lord regarding a mate, I can definitely see how fasting would help you to focus as you are seeking direction in this area of your life. 


HE is … Cliff Young, a contributing writer and a veteran single of many decades.  He has traveled the world in search of fresh experiences, serving opportunities, and the perfect woman (for him) and has found that his investments in God, career and youth ministry have paid off in priceless dividends.

SHE is …
Laura MacCorkle, Senior Editor at  She loves God, her family and her friends.  Singleness has taught her patience, deepened her walk with the Lord and afforded her countless (who's counting anyway?) opportunities to whip up an amazing three-course meal for one. 

DISCLAIMER:  We are not trained psychologists or licensed professionals.  We're just average folk who understand what it's like to live the solo life in the 21st century.  We believe that the Bible is our go-to guide for answers to all of life's questions, and it's where we'll go for guidance when responding to your questions.  Also, it's important to note that we write our answers separately (we think they sound eerily similar sometimes, too!). 

GOT A QUESTION?  If you've got a question about anything related to living the single life, PLEASE SUBMIT HERE (selected questions will be posted anonymously).  While we are unable to answer every inquiry, we do hope that He Said-She Said will be an encouragement to you.

**This column first published on February 26, 2010.