He Said-She Said: Unmarried and Vacationing Together
- Thursday, April 09, 2009
Why aren’t others asked to go along?
If you want to be totally alone with an unmarried person of the opposite sex on vacation, significant other or not, it would be safe to say there are probably more good reasons you shouldn’t be doing it rather than reasons you should.
I have taken a number of vacations with groups of singles. On some of the trips, I had interest in another person going and other times not. In every instance though, I always made sure we would be accountable to others and have boundaries during the trip.
Paul shares with us one more thing to think about in his next statement.
Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others (1 Corinthians 10:24).
As a long-time single, it’s easy to think of my own wants, needs and desires first. However as a follower of Christ, Paul says I shouldn’t be seeking my own good, but the good of others. I need to consider how my actions may negatively influence or impact the thoughts and actions of those around me before making a decision.
Will vacationing with another single of the opposite sex sway those around you? Will it give a younger believer the approval to do the same? How would your vacation affect your witness to others?
In any case, there is not a biblical or moral definitive “Okay” or “Not Okay” for traveling with an unmarried person of the opposite sex. However, Paul challenges us in these verses to make our decisions and actions beneficial, constructive and with the good of others in mind.
Can you do this ... honestly?
SHE SAID: Technically, there is nothing wrong with an unmarried man vacationing together with an unmarried woman.
But, as a believer, how are we to live? Technically or biblically? Technically stays on the surface and relies on what we know to be true (and however Satan may be deceiving us and or how we are distorting what we think is truth). Biblically goes much deeper (to the heart) and relies on what God says is Truth.
My interpretation of living biblically is living in a manner that is pleasing to the Lord and headed toward holiness; it goes much further than living technically. And if you want to live biblically, then you must search the Bible, apply it to all areas of your life and be open to the refining work of the Holy Spirit in and through you.
Getting to the heart of the matter (literally), first examine your motivation. What is your purpose of vacationing alone with someone else? For the sake of my answer and for its brevity, I will assume that you are attracted to one another and want to enjoy travelling to a destination together as romantic partners.
Now, considering that there is attraction and that you are interested in one another for more than friendship, then know that there will be temptation involved. And if you are planning on keeping yourself pure until marriage (meaning you do not want to engage in premarital sex), then you are putting yourself into a situation where you will be tempted. It’s not a matter of if, but when it will happen while you’re on vacation (James 1:13-15).
Before you even go there, make sure you test your actions (Galatians 6:4). What are your desires? Are they God-honoring or self-gratifying? Also, know in advance that you will reap what you sow (Galatians 6:7-8). So, if you don’t sow wisely, then there’s not going to be a good outcome.
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