Our confidence and our hope should come from who we are in Christ—first and foremost.  It's what you and I simply must cling to, so that we are not living in despair and so that our lives (hearts and minds) will be open and free to be available for what God wants to do in and through our lives.

I know it is hard.  I am there right now, too.  But I must tell you that in this dry season, long though it may be, I have grown closer in my walk with the Lord.  And he has worked in my life to correct and to change, to push me out of my comfort zone and to help others.  What a source of comfort and hope he is to me in times when I am weak and feel unloved!  I am thankful for how he has blessed my life and drawn me closer to him during this time period.

Whether or not you are being pursued, whether or not you have a boyfriend, whether or not you are on the track to getting married, it does not define who you are or your value or what your purpose is here on earth.  Remember that.  Remember that you are created in God's image.  I'll say it again:  He made you in his image (Genesis 1:26).  He sent his Son to earth for you (John 1:1).  He has pursued you since the beginning of time and continues to constantly pursue YOU and wants relationship with you and desires to show you his love (Zephaniah 3:17). 

Believe that.  Savor it.  Hold on to it each and every time you feel frustrated and dejected as a single woman. 

God loves you, he has a plan for you (even when you don't understand—Ecclesiastes 11:5) and he is working it out for his good so that he may be glorified in you.  Let his light shine in your life, and I promise you that you will most definitely feel loved and will certainly glow.   



HE is … Cliff Young, a Crosswalk.com contributing writer and a veteran single of many decades.  He has traveled the world in search of fresh experiences, serving opportunities, and the perfect woman (for him) and has found that his investments in God, career and youth ministry have paid off in priceless dividends.

SHE is …
laura maccorkle, Senior Editor at Crosswalk.com.  She loves God, her family and her friends.  Singleness has taught her patience, deepened her walk with the Lord and afforded her countless (who's counting anyway?) opportunities to whip up an amazing three-course meal for one. 

DISCLAIMER:  We are not trained psychologists or licensed professionals.  We're just average folk who understand what it's like to live the solo life in the 21st century.  We believe that the Bible is our go-to guide for answers to all of life's questions, and it's where we'll go for guidance when responding to your questions.  Also, it's important to note that we write our answers separately (we think they sound eerily similar sometimes, too!). 

GOT A QUESTION?  If you've got a question about anything related to living the single life, please submit here (selected questions will be posted anonymously).  While we are unable to answer every inquiry, we do hope that He Said-She Said will be an encouragement to you.

**This column first published on December 24, 2009.