EDITOR’S NOTE:  Each He Said-She Said column features a question from a Crosswalk.com reader with responses from a male and female point of view.  If you’ve got a question about anything related to singleness, please CLICK HERE to submit (selected questions will be posted anonymously).

QUESTION:  Will it cause a problem if a woman's income is more than a man's?

HE SAID:  Will it cause a problem?  It may or it may not.

Should it cause a problem?  No.

For several reasons a woman’s income may supplant the man’s at one point in (or throughout) a relationship.  This is a reality we face.

  • The man may be finishing up school while the woman is in the workforce.
  • The man may be in between jobs, working temporary, or in search of a new job.
  • The woman may have a higher starting salary or been promoted faster.
  • The woman may have more opportunity or financial potential in her field.

I know couples in each of these situations, and they are all making it work by adopting and living out a few simple principles.

Have confidence in who YOU are.

Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom (Proverbs 11:2).

People are often associated by what they do rather than who they are.  Self esteem and confidence is based upon one’s salary and possessions rather than character or moral fiber.  Don’t allow yourself to be judged by the world’s standards.  Believe that you are a creation of God, whom He gave His only Son for.  Live as you are living for the Lord.

The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body (1 Corinthians 12:12).

As we play a vital and important role in the Body of Christ, we also function and contribute in different and purposeful ways to a relationship.  Have confidence in who you are and who God designed you to be in whatever role you serve. 

Your mate is more important than what each of you do or the paycheck each of you earn.

Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband (Ephesians 5:33).

You will submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21).

Hopefully your partner’s worth (to you) isn’t based upon their paycheck or work they do.  Mutual trust, respect, and a love for the Lord (and each other) are crucial to a strong foundation.  A paycheck, job, or title may change numerous times during the course of a relationship; however, those variables should not alter your feelings for and commitment to your mate (when concomitant to the Lord).

A triple-braided cord is not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12).
Establish and maintain common goals for your relationship.

If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand (Mark 3:25).

Spend time in prayer in order to establish goals and a direction that is unique to your own relationship.  Understand the path that God has for you, don’t copy or compare your situation with other couples.  Your course may be different from your friends and may mean for the woman to be the main breadwinner of your home.

Two people can accomplish more than twice as much as one; they get a better return for their labor (Ecclesiastes 4:9).

Communicate always and often.

Purposefully schedule time each day for prayer and meaningful discussion with your mate; don’t allow days to go by without sharing your feelings, heartaches and concerns with one another.