In theory, I think that if a man and a woman agree that their money is essentially not theirs and they are just the temporary managers, then there shouldn’t be a problem of who makes how much in the relationship.

I do know that there are some couples who have made a woman’s higher income versus a man’s lesser income work for them.  But let me say that this does not seem to be the norm, and in my circle of friends and acquaintances I have found it to be most unusual. 

A man was created to be the head of his family and to provide for them (Ephesians 5:22-24, NIV).  It’s in his very nature to be the leader.  So when an imbalance of income enters the picture, he might get hung up on the fact that his wife has a larger paycheck.  Will it cause him to withdraw from her?  Will he resent her and not love her sacrificially?  Will he become complacent and not step up to lead his family? 

On the female side of the equation, if a woman makes more money than a man will she not submit as easily to her husband?  Will her respect for him begin to dwindle because she controls the purse strings?  Will she compete with him to be the head and not rest in the role that God has designed for her? 

I’ll say it again:  Money is powerful.  And more often than not, I believe that it can cause a problem if a woman's income is more than a man's.  So tread carefully and be sure to have plenty of discussions and prayer together about this issue.  Once you are married, if money should begin to pull you apart then you need to be prepared to make some drastic changes. 

And in many cases, it comes down to this:  Your money or your relationship.  Which one is more valuable to you and for which are you willing to make a greater sacrifice?

HE is … Cliff Young, a contributing writer and a veteran single of many decades.  He has traveled the world in search of fresh experiences, serving opportunities, and the perfect woman (for him) and has found that his investments in God, career and youth ministry have paid off in priceless dividends.

SHE is … Laura MacCorkle,’s Senior Entertainment Editor.  Should she ever be stranded on a desert island, she would like to have the following five necessities at her disposal:  a Bible, a toothbrush, a razor, a coffeemaker and a drinking straw (to avoid java stains on the pearlies, of course).

DISCLAIMER:  We are not trained psychologists or licensed professionals.  We’re just average folk who understand what it’s like to live the solo life in the 21st century.  We believe that the Bible is our go-to guide for answers to all of life’s questions, and it’s where we’ll go for guidance when responding to your questions.

GOT A QUESTION?  If you’ve got a question about anything related to living the single life, PLEASE SUBMIT HERE (selected questions will be posted anonymously).  While we are unable to answer every inquiry, we do hope that He Said-She Said will be an encouragement to you.

**This column first published on August 7, 2008.