He Said-She Said: Why Do Women Go for the "Bad Boys"?
- Thursday, December 04, 2008
Also, what is considered a “bad boy”? Is he someone who many wrongly call a “player” just because he dates a lot and has a social outing lined up for every weekend? Is he someone who is comfortable in his skin, knows how to approach women and never seems ill at ease around the ladies?
Or … is he someone who is a wolf in sheep’s clothing? Does he act one way in front of his church friends and then carries on with a rougher crowd at other times? Is he a commitment-phobe who chases women until they’re hooked and then drops them like hot potatoes? Or is he someone who has a history of not treating women like ladies and getting them to compromise their standards?
Whichever he is, forget trying to define the “bad boy.” I think the real heart of the matter is that you’re trying to figure out why certain women are attracted to certain men, and maybe why certain women who you are interested in are not interested in you.
My heart-to-heart advice? Focus on being the best man you can be (be a Boaz!). Choose to always do what is right and honorable. Love and serve the Lord. Also, be kind and help others. That’s all you can do.
God knows what he’s doing in your life. His ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9), and so that means we won’t always (actually, most of the time we won’t!) understand what he is doing. Just keep that in mind and know that he knows far better what is best for us and our lives.
I highly doubt you have gone unnoticed all of these years by members of the opposite sex. While it’s possible you may have felt overlooked in years past by certain women you were attracted to, maybe it’s possible that you have looked over some wonderful young ladies who could have been or would be great matches for you (and were attracted to you!). Do a little personal inventory and think about that. It might yield a light-bulb moment.
It’s clichéd, but I believe there is someone for everyone. And one of these days, the right woman will come along for you, and it will just work. I don’t know how or when. But hang in there, don’t give up and please don’t cross over to the dark side and become a “bad boy”—however you interpret one to be. Among other things, your character as a “good man” will surely be what attracts the one who is meant for you.
HE is … Cliff Young, a Crosswalk.com contributing writer and a veteran single of many decades. He has traveled the world in search of fresh experiences, serving opportunities, and the perfect woman (for him) and has found that his investments in God, career and youth ministry have paid off in priceless dividends.
SHE is … Laura MacCorkle, Crosswalk.com’s Senior Entertainment Editor. She loves God, her family and and her friends. Singleness has taught her patience, deepened her walk with the Lord and afforded her countless (who’s counting anyway?) opportunities to whip up an amazing three-course meal for one.
DISCLAIMER: We are not trained psychologists or licensed professionals. We’re just average folk who understand what it’s like to live the solo life in the 21st century. We believe that the Bible is our go-to guide for answers to all of life’s questions, and it’s where we’ll go for guidance when responding to your questions.
GOT A QUESTION? If you’ve got a question about anything related to living the single life, PLEASE SUBMIT HERE (selected questions will be posted anonymously). While we are unable to answer every inquiry, we do hope that He Said-She Said will be an encouragement to you.
**This column first published on December 4, 2008.
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