He Said-She Said: Brother and Sister, or Something More?
- Thursday, September 27, 2012
First of all, we are not mind readers. It has long been the business of human beings to try and read each other’s minds, but most of the time we’re not very good at it. You may not be able to gauge his interest until you have a conversation about it. Don’t be too quick to assume “he likes me” or “he doesn’t like me” unless he has specifically told you. That way you don’t get your heart set on something prematurely.
That being said, it’s so wonderful that you’re pursing a relationship with this godly young man. He sounds like a man you enjoy and respect, although to you it seems strange when he expresses interest in you while simultaneously referring to you as a “sister” in Christ. As you admitted, it could be because he is not thinking of you in a romantic light. Plenty of people grab coffee together without romance even crossing their minds (I’m a guilty party, here).
However, it could be because he is just trying his very best to respect you and his vocabulary just strikes you the wrong way.
In 1 Timothy 5:2, Paul tells Timothy to treat younger women “as sisters, with absolute purity.” The biblical image of the Church is usually of a family or a body. God is a big fan of family. And, if you think about it, what are the most distinguishing things about how you treat your family? You work together. You love them no matter what. And you stand up for their honor (trust me; ask any big brother about his little sister!). I think this is a reason why many young men refer to young women as their “sisters” in Christ. It’s probably much harder to disrespect girls in word, deed, or thought if he remembers that you are a beloved daughter of God, just as he is a beloved son.
HE is … Cliff Young, a Crosswalk.com contributing writer and a veteran single of many decades. He has traveled the world in search of fresh experiences, serving opportunities, and the perfect woman (for him) and has found that his investments in God, career and youth ministry have paid off in priceless dividends.
SHE is … Debbie Wright, Assistant Editor for Family Content at Crosswalk. She lives in Glen Allen, Virginia and is an avid writer, reader, and participant in local community theatre.
DISCLAIMER: We are not trained psychologists or licensed professionals. We're just average folk who understand what it's like to live the solo life in the twenty-first century. We believe that the Bible is our go-to guide for answers to all of life's questions, and it's where we'll go for guidance when responding to your questions. Also, it's important to note that we write our answers separately (we think they sound eerily similar sometimes, too!).
GOT A QUESTION? If you've got a question about anything related to singleness or living the single life, please submit it to He Said-She Said (selected questions will be posted anonymously). While we are unable to answer every inquiry, we do hope that this column will be an encouragement to you. Click here to visit the He Said-She Said archives.
Publication date: September 27, 2012
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