As a single woman myself, I have had a few encounters with men who I thought could be the "one." I have also, like yourself, have had dreams about them. But to dream of someone before you even met them is something I have not encountered. So let's try to tackle the questions you are asking and hopefully the answers can help you in making some decisions.

Could this guy be the "one," could your dream have been prophetic, and does God word reveal his will and guidance through dreams? First of all, yes, God does reveal his will and guidance (and sometimes even a mate) through dreams. In Matthew 1:20  an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.”

Besides here there are many other references to dreams. Why? Because God can reveal his will in any way that he wants. For some, dreams are a way God reaches us while others it's through circumstances, scripture, other people, etc. So the question is not if God can reveal your mate through your dream but how do you know for sure if that's what he's doing?

The only answer to this is to wait on God. I believe with all my heart that as women, we also need to wait on the man to pursue us. In the meantime, yes, continue to pray for this man, his growth in Christ, your growth in Christ and God's timing. Why would God reveal this man to you with such a long wait? Perhaps he knew he needed your prayers for him. Perhaps he knew you needed to grow in areas of patience and waiting on God. Either way, as you walk closer to God, listening and waiting for his guidance, you will know by the other truths God will reveal if this man is the one He has chosen for you. Be careful to not create your own destiny, but allow the Spirit to set up the next encounters with this man. It's way better, believe me.

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him (James 1:5, NKJV).

HE is … Cliff Young, a Crosswalk.com contributing writer and a veteran single of many decades. He has traveled the world in search of fresh experiences, serving opportunities, and the perfect woman (for him) and has found that his investments in God, career and youth ministry have paid off in priceless dividends.

SHE is … Kris Swiatocho, the President and Director of TheSinglesNetwork.org Ministries and FromHisHands.com Ministries. Kris has served in ministry in various capacities for the last 25 years. An accomplished trainer and mentor, Kris has a heart to reach and grow leaders so they will in turn reach and grow others. She is the author of three books: Singles and Relationships: A 31-Day Experiment (co-authored with Dick Purnell of Single Life Resources); From the Manger to the Cross: The Women in Jesus' Life; and the most recent, Jesus, Single Like Me with Study Questions (includes a leader's guide and conference/retreat of the same name).

DISCLAIMER: We are not trained psychologists or licensed professionals. We're just average folk who understand what it's like to live the solo life in the twenty-first century. We believe that the Bible is our go-to guide for answers to all of life's questions, and it's where we'll go for guidance when responding to your questions. Also, it's important to note that we write our answers separately (we think they sound eerily similar sometimes, too!). 

GOT A QUESTION? If you've got a question about anything related to singleness or living the single life, please submit it to hesaid-shesaid@crosswalk.com (selected questions will be posted anonymously). While we are unable to answer every inquiry, we do hope that this column will be an encouragement to you. Click here to visit the He Said-She Said archives.

Publication date: February 14, 2013