SHE SAID

Thanks so much for writing and sharing you heart. My first question would be to know your ages. Although I do think its important for our families to bless our dating relationships and eventual marriages, I also think it's between you and your boyfriend. If you are young and still living at home, and if you respect your parents' wisdom (Proverbs 3:13 Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding), then perhaps they are corredt in wanting you to not be together right now. With more time, maturity, and life experience (plus the Lord's leading) both you, your boyfriend and both sets of parents will be in support of your relationship. If this guy is who you believe to be your "soul mate," or your eventual spouse, then he will still be that person a year from now.

Now, if you are not living at home and over 21, then sometimes we have to make decisions that our parents disagree with. I would want to know why your parents are so against your relationship with this young man. Is it Biblically grounded? Perhaps a race, age, or financial (meaning, you are both in debt or in school), thing. Perhaps you have different denominations or beliefs. Because you have not stated this why they are against your relationship, it makes it hard to know what direction to take. Bottom line, you have to do what God tells you to do. If God brought you together, he will bring you together again. I would pray for God to give you the patience you need to weather this storm. In the meantime, ask God if there IS anything that would cause your relationship to be unsuccessful. Is there anything God wants you to do first? Although I do not believe in extended dating relationships and long engagements, I do believe in time to grow. Grow in your walk with God, in financial security, education, emotionally, etc. And above all, keep the hope that only comes from God.

But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint (Isaiah 40:31)..

HE is … Cliff Young, a Crosswalk.com contributing writer and a veteran single of many decades. He has traveled the world in search of fresh experiences, serving opportunities, and the perfect woman (for him) and has found that his investments in God, career and youth ministry have paid off in priceless dividends.

SHE is … Kris Swiatocho, the President and Director of TheSinglesNetwork.org Ministries and FromHisHands.com Ministries. Kris has served in ministry in various capacities for the last 25 years. An accomplished trainer and mentor, Kris has a heart to reach and grow leaders so they will in turn reach and grow others. She is the author of three books: Singles and Relationships: A 31-Day Experiment (co-authored with Dick Purnell of Single Life Resources); From the Manger to the Cross: The Women in Jesus' Life; and the most recent, Jesus, Single Like Me with Study Questions (includes a leader's guide and conference/retreat of the same name).

DISCLAIMER: We are not trained psychologists or licensed professionals. We're just average folk who understand what it's like to live the solo life in the twenty-first century. We believe that the Bible is our go-to guide for answers to all of life's questions, and it's where we'll go for guidance when responding to your questions. Also, it's important to note that we write our answers separately (we think they sound eerily similar sometimes, too!).

GOT A QUESTION? If you've got a question about anything related to singleness or living the single life, please submit it to hesaid-shesaid@crosswalk.com (selected questions will be posted anonymously). While we are unable to answer every inquiry, we do hope that this column will be an encouragement to you. Click here to visit the He Said-She Said archives.

Publication date: April 11, 2013