So how do you attract men closer to your age, or even a few years older? Well, I would first ask: where are you spending your time? If you are dating online, I simply would not respond to anyone under a certain age. If you are attending a small group at church, I would start attending a group that is older. I would seek out social groups where there are older men. Now realize upon doing some of these things you are now going to open the door to men in their 40's and older asking you out. 

So what is the best solution? Simply pray and ask God what he wants. Maybe God wants you to be with a younger man. Age to me is simply a number. It's more about your life-stage. You might find a younger man to be at the same life-stage of maturity, goals, and vision of where God has him and where God is taking him. Trust God to bring to you who He wants versus who you want.

HE is … Cliff Young, a Crosswalk.com contributing writer and a veteran single of many decades. He has traveled the world in search of fresh experiences, serving opportunities, and the perfect woman (for him) and has found that his investments in God, career and youth ministry have paid off in priceless dividends.

SHE is … Kris Swiatocho, the President and Director of TheSinglesNetwork.org Ministries and FromHisHands.com Ministries. Kris has served in ministry in various capacities for the last 25 years. An accomplished trainer and mentor, Kris has a heart to reach and grow leaders so they will in turn reach and grow others. She is the author of three books: Singles and Relationships: A 31-Day Experiment (co-authored with Dick Purnell of Single Life Resources); From the Manger to the Cross: The Women in Jesus' Life; and the most recent, Jesus, Single Like Me with Study Questions (includes a leader's guide and conference/retreat of the same name).

DISCLAIMER: We are not trained psychologists or licensed professionals. We're just average folk who understand what it's like to live the solo life in the twenty-first century. We believe that the Bible is our go-to guide for answers to all of life's questions, and it's where we'll go for guidance when responding to your questions. Also, it's important to note that we write our answers separately (we think they sound eerily similar sometimes, too!). 

GOT A QUESTION? If you've got a question about anything related to singleness or living the single life, please submit it to hesaid-shesaid@crosswalk.com (selected questions will be posted anonymously). While we are unable to answer every inquiry, we do hope that this column will be an encouragement to you. Click here to visit the He Said-She Said archives.

Publication date: December 27, 2012