EDITOR'S NOTEHe Said-She Said is a biweekly advice column for singles featuring a question from a Crosswalk.com reader with responses from a male and female point of view. If you've got a question about anything related to singleness or living the single life, please submit it to He Said-She Said (selected questions will be posted anonymously).

QUESTION: I am happily single and have prayed and saved for a trip to Europe. I have been recently told that I should donate that money to the needy, that by taking my trip (not a fancy one at all) I will be disobedient by not focusing on God and his will. What do you think?

HE SAID: Maybe it comes from the ability to “vote” on reality shows, or “text” opinions on news programs or “post” comments on web and social networking sites, but our society has gone way overboard on chiming in on everyone else’s business, and, unfortunately, it doesn’t stop at the church doors.

Whether someone goes out to dinner every night, watches every movie released, buys hundreds of pairs of shoes or goes on elaborate vacations, it isn’t our business unless they are spending our money or accountable to us. 

Everyone seems to know what’s best for everyone else’s life and has the right to share it—and not always in love.

I recently heard Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft, made the largest single charitable donation of $10 billion, yet I know there are those who criticize him for not giving more. I have worked with music artists who have done “well” while quietly giving of their time to charity and fundraising events, yet I hear “fans” criticizing them for what they “should” be doing. I hear mumblings (and sense the envy) of “Christians” when they see their brothers in a new car or house remarking the money should have gone to the church or the poor.

For someone to tell you how you should spend your money without knowing your life, your relationship with God, your personal sacrifices or your tithing is “disobedient” to the teachings of Luke.

Donot judge and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned (Luke 6:37).

If your trip includes a stop in Israel or a visit to a biblical site, would it still be considered not of God’s will? If you invited this person along (at no cost), would they still say that money should go to the needy? 

Make it your ambition to live quietly, to mind your own business and to earn your living by your own efforts (1 Thessalonians 4:11).

Have a great time on your trip!

SHE SAID: I don’t think it’s a coincidence in my daily Bible reading today that Joshua 22 was included. In short, it’s the story of what happens when we judge another’s actions or surrounding circumstances and don’t have the full picture or know the underlying motives (read chapters 22-24 for the full story).

That being said, as believers we are to keep one another accountable by speaking and upholding Truth—this I wholeheartedly believe and support (Ephesians 4:25Colossians 3:16). For example, if you were planning a big trip to Vegas to blow it all at the blackjack table, then I can understand a friend or family member gently confronting you about this decision and your stewardship/mishandling of these funds (Proverbs 13:111 Timothy 6:9-10Hebrews 13:5).