In general, though, I would advise you (and anyone) to ask your date lots of questions. Lots. That will initially help you to calm down. Then, if you hear your date share an answer or make a comment about something or someone that you share in common or know in common, then by all means jump into the conversation and talk about it! This serves two purposes: 1) it gives your date an opportunity to hear from you and make some mental notes and 2) it gives you an opportunity to express yourself and share a personal story or two. Plus, when you talk about something you know, you most always will not be nervous and will have fun sharing. (P.S. I don't know if you're male or female, but I'll just say this: the way to a woman's heart is through her ears. So men out there, don't be afraid to chat it up if you are at all interested in the woman you are taking out for a first date!)

And lastly, but most importantly, bathe the matter in prayer. God wants us to present our requests to him (Philippians 4:6) . . .  even first dates! So tell him what’s troubling you, and then thank him for hearing your plea and calming your anxious heart.


HE is … Cliff Young, a contributing writer and a veteran single of many decades. He has traveled the world in search of fresh experiences, serving opportunities, and the perfect woman (for him) and has found that his investments in God, career and youth ministry have paid off in priceless dividends.

Laura MacCorkleSHE is … 
Laura MacCorkle, Senior Editor at She loves God, her family and her friends. Singleness has taught her patience, deepened her walk with the Lord and afforded her countless (who's counting anyway?) opportunities to whip up an amazing three-course meal for one. 

DISCLAIMER: We are not trained psychologists or licensed professionals. We're just average folk who understand what it's like to live the solo life in the twenty-first century. We believe that the Bible is our go-to guide for answers to all of life's questions, and it's where we'll go for guidance when responding to your questions. Also, it's important to note that we write our answers separately (we think they sound eerily similar sometimes, too!). 

GOT A QUESTION? If you've got a question about anything related to singleness or living the single life, please submit it to He Said-She Said (selected questions will be posted anonymously). While we are unable to answer every inquiry, we do hope that this column will be an encouragement to you. Click here to visit the He Said-She Said archives.