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He Said - She Said Christian Dating Advice

How Will I Know if My Dreams are from God?

  • Kris Swiatocho, Cliff Young
  • 2015 9 Apr
  • COMMENTS
How Will I Know if My Dreams are from God?

EDITOR'S NOTE: He Said-She Said is a biweekly advice column for singles featuring a question from a Crosswalk.com reader with responses from a male and female point of view. If you've got a question about anything related to singleness or living the single life, please submit it to [email protected] (selected questions will be posted anonymously).

QUESTION: How much stock should I put into dreams? God often gives me relationship wisdom through dreams, so I've started praying for God to reveal my future husband to me in this way. I keep dreaming about one man of my acquaintance over and over again - dreaming that we are married, like it's a sign. But it turns out he has a wife already! What should I make of this?

HE SAID:

I personally haven’t delved too much into dream interpretation nor had extensive discussions with any scholars. However, I recently heard a person with some credibility speak on dreams.

What I came away with is that we often dream of those things in our mind which have been bothering us (especially right before falling asleep), and many of us actually share similar types of dreams – falling off of something, not being prepared, arriving late to an event, being embarrassed, or being with someone we’ve been thinking about.

SEE ALSO: Could My Dreams Be a Sign From God?

In some ways your dreams may have been self-induced by your prayers. However, there is nothing wrong with praying for your future mate, in general or specifically, as we should be “praying without ceasing” for those things in our heart (1 Thessalonians 5:17).

The Lord said, "When a prophet of the LORD is among you, I reveal myself to him in visions, I speak to him in dreams” (Numbers 12:6).

I would just caution you about listening to anyone who says they “know” what your dreams mean explicitly, unless you are sure that person is a prophet of the Lord. Many may appear to have knowledge when in fact it may just be a Google-based opinion.

But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you (John 14:26).

SEE ALSO: Dreams & Visions

God and the Holy Spirit work in mysterious ways throughout our life, and what many people may write off as “coincidence,” “fate,” “dumb luck,” “a miracle,” “a revelation,” “an idea,” “a thought,” or even “a dream,” I often take it as a lesson, blessing, warning or even insight given through the Holy Spirit.

You may never know nor understand the true meaning of your dreams, but continue to seek wisdom for how he wants you to lead your life and maybe through your continual prayers he will give you visions of what he has for you or at least give you a glimpse through your dreams.

SHE SAID:

While yes, God can speak to us through dreams, you have to be very, very careful in your interpretations.

SEE ALSO: For When You're Tired of Chasing Dreams

I would say that most people do not hear from God through their dreams, mainly due to the fact that we have so many dreams that mean nothing. You can easily get confused, even adding information (or deleting) to your dreams that can seem "spiritual," but in reality may have been nothing but bits and pieces from a rerun of an old TV show (mixed in with what you wish you ate for dinner but didn't).

So, first you have to be sure that these are dreams from God and not simply something you are hoping for. How do you know the difference? You admitted and you kept thinking and thinking of this one man, to the point you dreamed about him (which you were thinking was from God) but it turned out he was married. Marrying an already married man would not be a dream from God. Perhaps you only wished it would be true (even subconsciously). Ask yourself, what would be God's will about this dream? And be careful before acting upon anything till you have prayed through it.

When I was young I would have crushes on certain guys and find myself not only day-dreaming of them, but dreaming of them at night also! If you think about something enough it can show up in your dreams (especially when those things connect with an emotion). This is why certain foods, romance and even fears show up in our dreams.

So, back to your initial question. While I don't think it's wrong to ask for God to reveal your husband in a dream, I would still be careful and trust God to bring your mate in his timing. If you become too focused on it, you can quickly start second-guessing your instincts. All of this takes time and energy to do. Time and energy that should be focused on your relationship with God and serving him, allowing God to take care of everything else.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6).  

HE is … Cliff Young, a Crosswalk.com contributing writer and a veteran single of many decades. He has traveled the world in search of fresh experiences, serving opportunities, and the perfect woman (for him) and has found that his investments in God, career and youth ministry have paid off in priceless dividends.

SHE is ... Kris Swiatocho, the President and Director of TheSinglesNetwork.org Ministries and FromHisHands.com Ministries. Kris has served in ministry in various capacities for the last 25 years. An accomplished trainer and mentor, Kris has a heart to reach and grow leaders so they will in turn reach and grow others. She is also the author of three books.

DISCLAIMER: We are not trained psychologists or licensed professionals. We're just average folk who understand what it's like to live the solo life in the twenty-first century. We believe that the Bible is our go-to guide for answers to all of life's questions, and it's where we'll go for guidance when responding to your questions. Also, it's important to note that we write our answers separately.

GOT A QUESTION? If you've got a question about anything related to singleness or living the single life, please submit it to [email protected] (selected questions will be posted anonymously). While we are unable to answer every inquiry, we do hope that this column will be an encouragement to you. Click here to visit the He Said-She Said archives.

Publication date: April 9, 2015


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