Why Aren’t You Married Yet?
- Thursday, December 08, 2011
I don’t know about you, but I’ve often had this kind of internal dialogue with myself when someone has asked me about my marital status. At first, I used to get angry about it. But as I’ve grown older, I realize that for most people this questioning is coming from a good place and with good intentions in their hearts.
Generally speaking, they aren’t ridiculing, they aren’t trying to make us feel bad and they aren’t saying there is something wrong with us. They love us, they care about us and they truly want to try and understand why God hasn’t already brought us our mates.
So these days, when I am faced with the questions you have asked about, I just assume the best and that they are being asked in kindness and in love. That helps me to release whatever anger or bitterness may try to bubble up inside of me and build a barrier between us. So I choose to make it a “non-event” as I smile and answer like this:
I don’t know, and I don’t understand all of God’s ways or his timing in my life. But I do know that I want what God wants for me. And if that includes marriage one day, then that will be great!
With an answer like that, I am still being truthful but also (hopefully) pleasing God as “the aroma of Christ” (2 Cor. 2:15) while in the presence of others.
HE is … Cliff Young, a Crosswalk.com contributing writer and a veteran single of many decades. He has traveled the world in search of fresh experiences, serving opportunities, and the perfect woman (for him) and has found that his investments in God, career and youth ministry have paid off in priceless dividends.
SHE is … Laura MacCorkle, Senior Editor at Crosswalk.com. She loves God, her family and her friends. Singleness has taught her patience, deepened her walk with the Lord and afforded her countless (who's counting anyway?) opportunities to whip up an amazing three-course meal for one.
DISCLAIMER: We are not trained psychologists or licensed professionals. We're just average folk who understand what it's like to live the solo life in the twenty-first century. We believe that the Bible is our go-to guide for answers to all of life's questions, and it's where we'll go for guidance when responding to your questions. Also, it's important to note that we write our answers separately (we think they sound eerily similar sometimes, too!).
GOT A QUESTION? If you've got a question about anything related to singleness or living the single life, please submit it to He Said-She Said (selected questions will be posted anonymously). While we are unable to answer every inquiry, we do hope that this column will be an encouragement to you. Click here to visit the He Said-She Said archives.
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