Why Don't Women Go for Nice Guys?
- Thursday, January 12, 2012
Many of us probably wondered why in the world would a popular “good girl” like Claire be fascinated by John? He smoked, he cussed, he apparently liked to destroy school property, and in conclusion, he needed a major attitude adjustment. Still, something drew Claire to him. Perhaps she thought she could change him. Or maybe she saw his potential and knew he could be a better man. Or maybe she had her own issues of poor self-esteem she was dealing with and thought she didn’t deserve a nice guy (or maybe a combination of all of the above . . . who knows).
The way the film ends doesn’t really play into a great answer for your question (she still likes John when the credits roll), but it is a story that illustrates how we are not always attracted to what is good or good for us. And I think it has to do first and foremost with sin (Romans 7:14-24).
If we are honest, that which is sinful is always attractive to us and our earthly natures. Think of Samson who was attracted to “shady lady” Delilah—not exactly the kind of woman he should have been pursuing. But he did it anyway, because he wanted what he wanted and look where it got him (see Judges 13 for the full story).
In the end, and in your case, I think you have to not look at the other guys out there, but focus on being the best “you” that you can be. If you are a “nice guy,” then be the best “nice guy” you can be as you love and serve the Lord by the power of the Holy Spirit. You may not be noticed by the woman you want to notice you right now, but in God’s sovereignty and timing, and should he ordain it, you will be noticed by the woman he has chosen to be attracted to the “nice guy” that is you.
HE is … Cliff Young, a Crosswalk.com contributing writer and a veteran single of many decades. He has traveled the world in search of fresh experiences, serving opportunities, and the perfect woman (for him) and has found that his investments in God, career and youth ministry have paid off in priceless dividends.
SHE is … Laura MacCorkle, Senior Editor at Crosswalk.com. She loves God, her family and her friends. Singleness has taught her patience, deepened her walk with the Lord and afforded her countless (who's counting anyway?) opportunities to whip up an amazing three-course meal for one.
DISCLAIMER: We are not trained psychologists or licensed professionals. We're just average folk who understand what it's like to live the solo life in the twenty-first century. We believe that the Bible is our go-to guide for answers to all of life's questions, and it's where we'll go for guidance when responding to your questions. Also, it's important to note that we write our answers separately (we think they sound eerily similar sometimes, too!).
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