Unfortunately television tends to promote values and qualities in another person I don’t believe have long-lasting effects. I don’t believe that what television tells you to look for in a potential partner will indeed serve you very well over the long term of a relationship.

For instance, television encourages you to focus primarily on appearance. But what we know from our research is that great marriages are very seldom highly correlated with initial appearance evaluations at the beginning of the marriage. So, if you tend to choose a person just because they look good, the possibility is that over time, other variables will become much more predominant in your thinking.

And if you don’t spend time looking for those other variables, you’re liable to end up with a partner who has a very nice appearance, but with other qualities that don’t match with your requirements.

So now you can understand, why we have an epidemic in North America of poor mate selection. I believe we’ve been programmed to focus on qualities that, in the long run, don’t create success in a relationship. In part two of this series, I’ll share with you a plan for refocusing your mate selection lens, and targeting people who share the values and personality traits that create relationally brilliant, loving, lifelong marriage.

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