Finally, be aware of the high-priced fees and shaky credibility of some dating services. Ask for referrals to verify that a service is legitimate. Dating is expensive enough without hiring someone to help you. Thus, I recommend using the free methods first to find Christian singles.

5. Singles Hangouts

Singles hangouts, such as bars, beaches, and dance clubs can be scary places to meet new people. While they might offer a lot of fun, they also contain an element of danger, especially for women. If you decide to go out dancing or enjoy a day at the beach, it is best to go with trusted friends.

Remember that most people you encounter at bars and beaches may not have your best intentions in mind. Those fleshly environments encourage people to interact selfishly. Also, discerning a person’s character can be difficult when he or she is in a dim, smoky room or sunning half-naked in the sand. Therefore, I consider these places detrimental for finding mature singles.

I am not suggesting that you avoid beaches or nightclubs. Just don’t expect to meet many mature Christian singles at those locations. They may be there, but they will have their guard up. Finally, be prepared to leave immediately if someone approaches you in a lustful or disrespectful manner.

6. The Internet and Long-Distance Relationships

With the advent of the Internet, some singles now spend hours trying to develop intimacy with someone via a plastic box. E-mail and Internet chat rooms allow you to communicate with a normal person one day and a serial killer the next. That’s what makes these online methods so dangerous – you never truly know who someone is.

The bottom line is that nothing can replace face-to-face communication. A physical separation allows someone to fake his or her true feelings and intentions. Likewise, discerning someone’s character is almost impossible unless you spend time together. Thus, I urge you to avoid dating over the Internet and divulging your personal information to strangers. Otherwise, you make yourself vulnerable to relational wolves.

Can you make a long-distance dating relationship work? Possibly, but you will have to put forth a huge effort to truly get to know someone. Long-distance relationships benefit you little until you decide to spend major amounts of time together. You can learn about a person’s interests and beliefs over a fiber-optic cable, but you cannot discern if he or she has character unless you are in the same place.

Talk is cheap when discerning integrity, and so are letters and e-mails. You need to be able to observe consistent actions of maturity before you can trust someone with your heart. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but you might be desperate if you are willing to undertake a long-distance relationship with someone you’ve just met. Instead, focus on some of the other methods we have already discussed and find someone that you can date locally.


Taken from "Dating With Pure Passion" by Rob Eagar; Copyright 2002 by Rob Eagar;  Published by Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, OR; Used by Permission.

Rob Eagar is a gifted writer and speaker who has helped thousands of singles, young adults and college students build passionate relationships.  His message has been featured on the "CBS Early Show," on CNN Radio, and in Christian Single magazine.  Rob resides with his wife, Ashley, in Atlanta, Georgia.  For more information, visit www.RobEagar.com.