Kevin Leman Discusses How Birth Order Affects Relationships
- Tuesday, May 18, 2004
Are you the baby in your family? Does it sometimes seem that you get along better with people who are the oldest in their tribes? It’s not your imagination. According to Dr. Kevin Leman, birth order strongly influences the way we relate to others—especially those of the opposite sex. Thus, it makes perfect sense to establish a dating site based on birth order.
Matchwise.com – a brand new online dating site founded by Leman – matches couples of opposite birth orders, but similar hobbies, habits and faith. The MatchWise Profile gives subscribers a revealing picture of their personalities based on their true birth order. Understanding these characteristics helps in recognizing what to look for in a relationship.
Leman is an internationally-known psychologist, best-selling author, radio and television personality, and speaker. He has spoken to audiences worldwide, from couples retreats to corporate events for McDonald’s and Pepsi-cola.
A frequent contributor to CNN’s American Morning with Paula Zahn, the best-selling “relationship doctor” has made house calls for numerous radio and television programs including Oprah, CBS’ The Early Show, Live with Regis and Kelly, Today, The View with Barbara Walters, and Focus on the Family. Leman has also served as a consulting family psychologist to the television program, Good Morning America.
The father of five, Leman brings practical and down-to-earth principles into his parenting advice. And as his children have grown, the topics he’s tackled have matured with his family. In his 21 published books, Leman has addressed topics ranging from disciplining toddlers and adolescents to people pleasing and sexual intimacy in marriage. He recently spoke with Crosswalk.com by phone.
Crosswalk: What prompted you to start a singles match site?
Dr. Leman: Well, there are many websites out there that are meat markets of sorts. The birth order book came out in 1985; it was a bestseller. And, I think America became enamored with this idea that little cubs could come out of the same den and be so unique and so different. People connected with it. In the birth order book, I address relationships and what birth order is best.
When the Matchwise opportunity came my way, I jumped at it because I thought, “Here’s a practical way to help people.” It’s not two people who marry; it’s at least six. You marry your in-laws, too, which isn’t always encouraging news to people. But, at least you’ll be forewarned and understand that whatever your wife or your husband grew up with is going to be a part of your life.
I wanted to come up with a G-rated website that would be fun. This website’s fun, simple, action oriented, and above everything else, helpful and practical. So, that’s really the motivation behind it. I think everybody has an interest in where they are in their family – their birth order. The site points out that it’s the differences in our personalities that make us a couple. Core values have to be pretty lined up the same. But, it’s the personality characteristics that direct and draw us to one another.
Crosswalk: How do you match people up according to birth order?
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