1. If I am dating/courting this person, why am I thinking about leaving the door open for someone better? Am I honoring him/her with such thinking? Am I putting his/her feelings above my own? If I’m not serious about the relationship—if I’m ready to dump dumping him/her when someone “better” comes along—why am I still in the relationship? Why am I leading him/her on? “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3).

2. If I am married, I should not consider divorce an option, for God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). Instead, I should think positively. “May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord” (Psalm 19:14). Rather than fearing divorce and planning routes of safe escape, I should focus on nurturing my relationship with Christ and my spouse. When problems come, my primary concern should be solving them rather than fleeing from them.

So, here are some questions to help you unpack any black garbage bags that might be filling up your room: Where are you in your relationship? Do you find yourself secretly creating escape plans? Or are you ready to commit? Are you ready to trust God with your relationship rather than relying on yourself?  

God is the only security you need. Choose to trust him.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5).

Felicia Alvarez lives in Southern California and loves avocados, sunshine, and serving her Savior. Currently, she teaches dance to over one hundred students and is working on her second book. Connect with Felicia on her blog or Facebook—she would love to hear from you.

Publication date: February 25, 2014