• Comforter. He comforts us when we are feeling sad, lonely, unhappy, hurt, or confused.
  • Counselor. He advises us, especially when we are facing tough decisions.
  • Helper. He helps us in our everyday tasks.
  • Intercessor. He acts as our go-between, mediating between us and God the
  • Father, just as Jesus does.seeHeb7:25
  • Advocate. He pleads our case to the Father like a top-notch lawyer.
  • Strengthener. He provides His strength to us when we are tired.
  • Standby. He is always available to us; He is reliable, especially in emergencies.

The primary ministry of our Personal Mentor (PM) is apokalupsis2 or “uncovering truth for us.” Jesus said that the Holy Spirit would guide you into all the truth and tell you things to come.John16:13 That means He enables us to be discerning about the other people in our lives, including our romantic interests. He unveils or pulls back the curtains in our minds and hearts, giving us knowledge, understanding, and guidance that we can’t get anywhere else. Left on our own, we are apt to deceive ourselves and make excuses for our own immature behavior. Our PM can give us spiritual eyes to see things about Beautiful Betty or Henry Hottie that will either confirm that they are a good choice for us or that will save us from a nightmare.

But that’s not all the Holy Spirit does — there’s more. He also shows us ourselves in all our naked glory and splendor.

Adjust and Repair Your Inner Self-Portrait

Have you ever noticed the eager look on the face of new parents when they pull out their wallets to show off new pictures of Junior? You see Junior in his jammies…Junior on his first day of pre-K…Junior spitting up peas. The parents don’t much care what effect it’s having on you; they are thrilled to show off their child’s great accomplishments. That’s just how your PM feels about you! He will always speak to your greatness and your potential, even when He is convicting you about some area of your character that needs to change.

Knowing how He delights in us makes it easier to take Him up on His offer to help us with a Spirit-led self-exam. He can enable us to take an honest look at both our strengths and our weaknesses and can show us where we need to make changes so that our inner portrait matches His view of us. If we want a fabulous marriage, we will take Him up on His offer to help us become the spouse He made us to be.

If you were having dinner with someone you had a romantic interest in, and he or she happened to ask to see a snapshot of your internal portrait — that means you minus the Gucci pumps, the Gold’s Gym abs, or the Super-Christian façade — would you rush to pull it out? Would you pull it out at all? Or would you change the subject and motion for the dinner check? As the unveiler, our PM wants to show us to us first, for our own good, before we get into a serious relationship with someone.

Very often, our inner self-portrait needs a lot of work in order to reflect how God views us. A poor self-image and low self-esteem cause havoc in a marriage and often result in a codependent relationship, which is far from God’s best plan. Great marriages require that both spouses exemplify godly character.

Many of us want mates (now, please!), but few singles have done the inner work required to be a godly, whole partner. We’re convinced that the lack of inner preparation for marriage is a huge part of this country’s high divorce rate. So when you pray, “Please, Lord, I need my mate!” know that He will first show you yourself and prompt you to make changes that will make you a suitable spouse. You have the choice to follow through with His program for you or to languish in the false comfort of your dysfunction. The program can be long or short, depending on your diligence.