I’m not saying that we shouldn’t be selective and just “settle” for the first person we go out with for a second date (for some that would be a great thing in itself!).  During my moments when I feel that I’m being too selective, I’m reminded of a line from a movie I've “heard” about. 

In "Sleepless in Seattle," Walter, played by Bill Pullman, tells Annie, played by Meg Ryan: “I don’t want to be someone that you’re settling for.  I don’t want to be someone that anyone settles for.  Marriage is hard enough without bringing such low expectations into it.”

There are many things about people and in relationships on which we shouldn’t put as much emphasis.  We should quit comparing a perspective mate to People magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” and Sports Illustrated’s “Swimsuit Supermodels” and reflect upon who will share our goals, faith, values, beliefs, and interests. 

As Christians, those should be the “non-negotiables” in our criteria. Tight abs and glutes are nice, but they don’t defy age and gravity.

I think a lot of singles, including myself (at times), think that the “57-quality person” is out there, while in reality, God knows that what we really need is more patience, more understanding, less selfishness, less societal input, and a 12-quality person.

It's not about singles being made to "complete" one another so much as it is being as "complete" in yourself – and in the Lord – as possible when you meet another person.

So before you go and throw yourself into the “dating pool” this season, find out what you’re willing to give and what you’re willing to accept.  It’ll save a lot of hardship on everyone involved.


Cliff Young is a contributing writer to "Sandlot Stories" (ARose Books).  An architect and former youth worker, he now works with Christian musicians and consults for a number of Christian ministries. Got feedback?  Send your comments and questions to CYdmg@yahoo.com.