Single, Female and Ready to Date
- Thursday, September 29, 2011
I understand your questioning about where to start, especially as it comes to answering questions that are sure to be asked regarding your past dating experience. And so my advice to you is really quite simple: just be yourself.
You already know who you are in Christ (since you are emotionally and spiritually ready), so remember that as you dip your toe in the waters. You are:
- Part of the body of Christ (1 Cor. 12:27)
- Complete in Christ (Col. 2:9-10)
- God’s workmanship (Eph. 2:10)
- A new creation (2 Cor. 5:17)
- The light of the world (Matt. 5:14)
- An expression of the life of Christ (Col. 3:4)
- Chosen, holy and loved (Col. 3:12)
And that’s just a very small sampling of who the Bible says you are in Christ. I encourage you to write these verses down and memorize them. Say them out loud. And hold them in your heart when you begin to interact with eligible men and answer their deeper questions.
Yes, of course rejection is always a possibility when it comes to dating and getting to know others—doesn’t matter who you are. Not every lid is going to fit every pot, right? But if you don’t give someone the opportunity to get to know you (and that includes answering these type of “dating history” questions), then how will that person have the opportunity to get to know you? And that’s not a trick question either. Where you have been has led you to who you are. No, your past doesn’t define you (and I’m thinking more about what the world will try to tell you or how it will try to label you negatively as someone who has little dating experience). But it has certainly contributed to the woman who is here today. God has used all of the experiences in your life (and that includes not dating, especially if you trust that that was his plan for you all along the way) to mold you and shape you.
I know they’re often used as an example when it comes to relationships, but who better to look to as two people who were perfectly designed for each other (despite appearances, ages or life circumstances) than Ruth and Boaz? And what better example of how a man was prepared to accept, to pursue and to love a woman who thought her past, her heritage, would not be that attractive or appealing? I just love their story. It proves to me over and over how God is so much bigger than what we fritter and fret about in our day-to-day doings. He is bigger than what we perceive to be liabilities in our lives. And he is sovereign over your situation just as he was with Ruth and Boaz.
You are God’s special creation. Don't ever forget that! He has very special and specific purposes for you. Embrace who you are (lack of dating experience and all) as you’ve awakened to wanting to share life with someone else. And then ask God to guide you in the dating waters as you begin navigating your way. I’ll be waving at you!
HE is … Cliff Young, a Crosswalk.com contributing writer and a veteran single of many decades. He has traveled the world in search of fresh experiences, serving opportunities, and the perfect woman (for him) and has found that his investments in God, career and youth ministry have paid off in priceless dividends.
SHE is … Laura MacCorkle, Senior Editor at Crosswalk.com. She loves God, her family and her friends. Singleness has taught her patience, deepened her walk with the Lord and afforded her countless (who's counting anyway?) opportunities to whip up an amazing three-course meal for one.
DISCLAIMER: We are not trained psychologists or licensed professionals. We're just average folk who understand what it's like to live the solo life in the twenty-first century. We believe that the Bible is our go-to guide for answers to all of life's questions, and it's where we'll go for guidance when responding to your questions. Also, it's important to note that we write our answers separately (we think they sound eerily similar sometimes, too!).
GOT A QUESTION? If you've got a question about anything related to singleness or living the single life, please submit it to He Said-She Said (selected questions will be posted anonymously). While we are unable to answer every inquiry, we do hope that this column will be an encouragement to you.
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