By Linda S. Mintle, Ph.D.


"Hey, compared to the movies, I'm nice!"

I was married before so its unrealistic to expect me not to have sex.

Everyone in the singles group sleeps around.

Im 40 years old and just want to be bad for awhile.

Im so inexperienced, it will be a problem.

Surely God doesnt expect me to go through life without sex.

Sexual sin is not unforgivable.

God made me sexual. It would be a cruel joke not to act on it.

Is it realistic to be a virgin?

We did everything but intercourse. I think thats OK.

We had oral sex. That doesnt count.

I know its wrong but

If you love someone sex is OK.

Raise your hand if you identify with any of these comments. They come from Christian singles. OK put your hand down and lets talk. Many Christian singles (and married people for that matter) have lowered their sexual standards. They have allowed the thinking of the culture to seep into the church and their personal lives. As a result, sin gets redefined.

Dont compare your sexual behavior to that of Jerry Springers guests, soap opera stars, FRIENDS (TV or the real deal), your neighbors or your boss. Because if you do, youll look like an angel.
You need to compare your behavior to the Word of God. What does the Bible say about sex outside of marriage? It says dont do it. Weve got standards to uphold regardless of how out of date they may appear.

God didnt give us these standards to punish us or make us suffer. He created sex and is fully aware of the oneness of union that happens when two people become sexually involved. He knows that the oneness operates best in the context of marriage.

Now I realize staying sexually pure is a tough thing to do in todays climate. You are bombarded by sexual images and temptations daily. The amount of sexual material that you encounter just living your life gives new meaning to the idea of guarding your thoughts. It is an incredibly difficult task to guard your heart and mind.

So prepare yourself to resist temptation. God wouldnt ask you to do something and then not equip you to do it. Its a tough assignment in todays market to live up to biblical standards, but its not impossible.