Singles of Note: Rebecca St. James
- Wednesday, April 21, 2004
She has also talked to people who are riddled with guilt because of what they’ve done prior to marriage and are thinking, “Will my future spouse accept me given what I’ve done?”
“I’ve seen the tears,” says Rebecca. “I’ve talked to the girls who had sex with their boyfriends, got rejected, then had sex with tons of different guys. Then they got involved with drugs and alcohol and tried to commit suicide – all out of that one compromise.”
Rebecca believes many people fail to realize what an intimate, bonding experience sex is—that it’s two becoming one flesh—until it’s too late. “God made it that way, but He made it that way to be in the bond of marriage and I totally believe that true love really does wait.”
The Price of Standing for God
Being a spokeswoman for virginity in today’s society is not without cost. But, according to Rebecca, she has not experienced as much persecution as she once anticipated. “That has been surprising to me, because I would have thought with it being such a counterculture message that I’m sharing, I would have more people opposing me.” She has heard snickers when speaking at schools. “And I remember in Australia once – after I had just spoken about purity – a guy fully disagreed with me. But I’ve never had anyone just rip into me and absolutely abuse me for talking about abstinence.”
Rebecca’s convictions also have been tested on a personal level. “With my most recent boyfriend, I took a very strong stand on boundaries and I said things like, ‘I want to put a shoe in the door if we’re alone in a room together because I don’t want there to be even the appearance of compromise. Somebody could walk in the door at any stage. That keeps us accountable and it avoids the appearance of evil.’ He definitely did not agree with me and was quite strong about it himself.
“So, not only did I feel challenged in my stand and rejected by him, by somebody that I cared about so much, but it was a very hard thing being the girl and having to take that stand and him not backing me up.”
At 26 and single, Rebecca has had years practicing what she preaches. While she hopes to marry someday, the busy singer/author doesn’t sit around wallowing in self-pity. “Most of the time, I’m pretty active so I don’t have a whole lot of time to think, ‘I’m alone.’ Also, I have wonderful friends, and family, and guys friends as well that I hang out with, so I feel very full and rich in my community. When you’re alone in a lot of areas in your life, I think that’s when you feel really, really lonely. But if you’ve got a strong sense of community – I think it makes the single life a lot easier.”
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