What a wonderful summary! So if every trial becomes a test of faith designed to strengthen us, we come back to the original question I recently received. What are some practical steps can we take to count present trials as joy?

I think the goal of what God is doing is found in verse three and the tool we need is found in verse five. If we simply view trials as something to grit our teeth about and endure, we lack the vision for what God says He is accomplishing. Verse three says trials are producing something of enduring value in us. I like the NAS translation of verse three – "knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance." God has an end result in mind with this testing. It is to display the glories of His grace in our lives and the transforming effect in our characters. We need to be changed, and trials are a primary means God uses to achieve this. Again, Dr. MacArthur has a succinct comment: "The testing of faith drives believers to deeper communion and greater trust in Christ – qualities that in turn produce a stable, godly, and righteous character."

The Promise of Wisdom

Therefore, we need to ponder the goal and not the trial itself. Thinking too much about the trial makes it more significant than it is. We need to train our thoughts away from those anxieties and doubts, and instead meditate upon the steadfast virtues God is cultivating in us at the present time. The key is to ask God for His wisdom in the midst of trials. When we encounter loss or difficulty, we always view it through our own self-centered perspective. That's our default setting. But God says to ask Him for His understanding, which He promises to give generously, so that we can instead see our circumstances through a divine perspective.

So the practical application is to curb the complaining and instead offer up thanks to God. Thanks for the grace He promises to sustain us, thanks for the change in our characters that brings glory to Him, thanks for the blessings He's bestowed on others that is evidence He is still at work among us, thanks for the ways we can be used to encourage those facing loss of some kind, thanks for His commitment to never leave nor forsake us. It is the practical retraining of our thoughts and words that allows us to pick up something we consider a deficit and re-evaluate it in light of God's Word and therefore pronounce gratitude for it.

In terms specifically of extended, unwanted singleness, this means offering thanks to God for His wisdom and grace to be others-focused as we attend another wedding or join in celebrating a birth – and not doubting that He will provide it once again (v. 6). It means to evaluate the relationships of others not as a deficit of blessings for us, but an evidence of God's ongoing faithfulness to His children. It means evaluating our words as we speak of this season and recognizing the ongoing grumbling that breeds discontent, not joy. It means offering thanks in our prayers that these trials keep us from being content on earth and therefore disinterested in what God's Kingdom offers us. It means accepting social invitations that may make us feel awkward, and trusting God that steadfastness and endurance are being produced in us in this very event as we stand there as solo trophies of God's grace. It means looking toward God to supply the joy we've always expected to derive from our circumstances, recognizing that each decision we make here will reap something far more significant in eternity.

That long-range view, above the battles of daily life, is the perspective that will bring a smile to our faces.

Carolyn McCulley works for  Sovereign Grace Ministries in church and ministry relations.  She is also an author ("Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? Trusting God with a Hope Deferred") and blogger (solofemininity.blogs.com).  Carolyn is also a member of Covenant Life Church where one of her favorite ministries is the single women's discipleship program.  She highly recommends the resources for singles from the New Attitude conference and blog.

Your questions answered!  Carolyn will periodically answer Crosswalk.com reader questions in her Singles Q&A columns.  While we can't guarantee that each question will be answered, we do hope to hear from you!  Please send your questions regarding singleness and related topics to Carolyn at