Singles Q&A: What to Do in the Meantime
- Wednesday, July 19, 2006
That’s the broad answer to your question. You asked several specific questions. I cannot hand you specific answers to some of them, though. If you have the financial resources, if you receive confirming counsel, and if she has a desire to develop further skills, I think a college degree could be helpful to her future. One never knows what the future holds – illness, widowhood, empty-nester jobs – all of these could require a set of employable skills. I know many women whose professional training serves their husbands, even while at home with small children. One woman does the finances for her husband’s business. Another woman does part-time design from home. Another does freelance writing to supplement her family’s income. These are issues of applying biblical wisdom, not rules.
The same goes for living at home. I know single women in many living arrangements, some still living at home with their families, others living in homes they have purchased. I don’t think the living arrangement per se is what matters. I think the degree of accountability, participation in the local church, cultivation of responsibility, boundaries for relationships with single men, and wise financial stewardship are the parameters that should be considered. An adult child living at home but not making adult contributions to the home could be a hindrance. A woman living on her own but without accountability would be unwise. A woman making a good salary but not investing it long-term in real estate may want to reconsider her situation. There is no automatic answer. It requires seeking God’s guidance, honestly evaluating motives and attitudes, and living where godliness is the highest priority. I know several single women who live with other families, for example, when their own families are not nearby. That might seem odd to others, but this arrangement serves the families and the single adults alike. The goal in any situation is living in such a way as to bring glory to God.
I hope this article has provided some points to consider and pray about. And I pray that your daughter’s generation will find the good blessing of marriage and motherhood far easier to obtain than my own generation.
Carolyn McCulley works for Sovereign Grace Ministries in church and ministry relations. She is also an author ("Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? Trusting God with a Hope Deferred") and blogger (solofemininity.blogs.com). Carolyn is also a member of Covenant Life Church where one of her favorite ministries is the single women's discipleship program. She highly recommends the resources for singles from the New Attitude conference and blog.
Your questions answered! Carolyn will periodically answer Crosswalk.com reader questions in her Singles Q&A columns. While we can't guarantee that each question will be answered, we do hope to hear from you! Please send your questions regarding singleness and related topics to Carolyn at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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