That being said, check your motives for why you do what you do and go where you go. Is it because you think you will meet the mate of your dreams or is it because you are truly interested in what that class or activity has to offer you personally? It should be all about you first. The motive should not be meeting someone. Trust me. Ruth was not thinking about meeting Boaz or any other man when she went gleaning. Her total focus was eating and surviving, and she still got a rich man out of the deal! (Ruth 2-4). Meeting someone should be the by-product of what you do, not the primary goal. In the meantime, get ready to expand your personal breadth as a person.

What other dreams do you have? What are some things you want to acquire? Don’t wait for a man to come and buy you jewelry and trinkets; set a standard for them to follow. Acquire a nice piece that signals you are a woman of quality. I don’t know about you, but holding out for my knight in shining armor to show up, marry me, and buy a house is way past due. As the birthdays started adding up, I took the plunge and bought a home. I was cautioned against it by a well-meaning friend, who suggested that I should wait to purchase a home because buying one said I had “settled in” and given up the notion of ever being married. This simply was not the case. I felt it was wisdom for me to purchase a piece of property. Married or not, to give away money (and that is what you are doing when you are renting) was not being a good steward of what God had blessed me with.  The more practical outlook is that I now would have something to bring to my marriage whenever it comes to fruition. Real estate is one of the best investments you can make for a guaranteed increase in return. When my husband shows up, we will buy another house and have equity toward our future. Begin to think of ways you can add to your financial collateral on your own. It certainly sweetens your position as a newlywed. Every girl should have a dowry of sorts to share at will or simply to maximize her own security.

What about trips to exotic places? Why wait to have a romance in order to go? Perhaps romance is waiting for you there. Are you getting this? This is about making your life happen. When that man comes into your life, he should have to interrupt some things. The opposite of that situation is that you will completely overwhelm him by being too available and desperate for his attention to fill the gaps in your life. What a turnoff! Have you ever had a man who liked you waaaay more than you liked him? You couldn’t get rid of him. He wanted all your time. What was your response? You were just not that into him, right? As a matter of fact, you ran from him as though he were the plague.  He was too needy, not intriguing enough, and perhaps even a little bit scary. Well, consider that in reverse. Are you grasping why your life has to happen first before you meet a man?


Taken from How to Avoid the 10 Mistakes Single Women Make by Michelle McKinney Hammond; Copyright 2006 by Michelle McKinney Hammond; Published by Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, OR; Used by Permission.

Michelle McKinney Hammond, a writer, singer, and speaker who focuses on improving love-driven relationships, is the founder and president of HeartWing Ministries as well as the co-host of the Emmy nominated show Aspiring Women. Michelle is the author of The DIVA Principle™, 101 Ways to Get and Keep His Attention and Sassy, Single, & Satisfied (more than 185,000 copies sold).