The Christian cannot live without hope any more than the Christian can live without faith, or without love. I do not mean just the single or relationships alone. The Christian life bleeds hope. Every facet of the Christian life involves a hope for what is not yet, for what should or could be. It is here, in this wide river of grace that singles come to dip their feet. We hope for a relationship because we are people of hope. We hope in a God who longs to bless us. We hope for the things we desire.

The realist will remind us of the failures, of the setbacks, of the letdowns. Thank you, realist, but I live for more. I live not for that which is but for that which could be. There is a danger in shaping our present, our future, and our past according to our desire for a husband or wife. It is a grave mistake to bend all our energies toward this singular goal—we dare not. The pessimist among us will view our present life as empty, our future as bleak, and our past as a series of mistakes that have wrecked our chances of relationship. This leads to hopelessness that has no place in the life of a Christian. Christians hope!

This year has not been so awful at its start. But our minds are able to conjure next December and feel the cold and lonely days we now know. In this way, even at its start, this year will strain our resolve. Some might say, “It is just easier to accept than to hope.” I ask, “Accept what?” I accept without reserve TODAY!!! I see no hope that I will be married today. I see no hope that I will be married tomorrow or for that matter in a month. But I neither see the whole year, nor do I see next year. To accept what has not yet come to pass strikes me as hopelessness if not faithlessness.

Instead we are to be “joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer (Romans 12:12). “For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have—hope (Romans 15:4). Paul even refers to our Father in heaven as “the God of hope” through whom we can be filled “with all joy and peace as [we] trust in him…[and] overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13).

Oh, yes! I know the Gospel is not so narrow. I speak not of relationships in particular, but hope in general. There is a reason. We are not singles longing for relationships. We are Christians longing for more. Being single is simply one facet of a greater longing. We hope for relationships because we are not home yet. We do not have all that we want and the longing for a relationship is simply a part of a greater longing. So, while I encourage singles to hope for what they desire, my encouragement is to Christians—HOPE!

We hope for things, but NEVER place our hope in things. We never place our hope in husband or wife, job, home, children, country, or life itself. That is the critical difference. We hope for these things as our desires are good, but we never place hope in them. We hope only in God.

So we should hope, but HOW should we hope? Patiently!

Hope is not demand. Hope is desire, longing, expressed through faith—tempered by faith. Hope is faithful expectation, and yes, this carries the possibility of disappointment. I have lived a life of faith long enough to know that God loves the difficult and relishes the impossible. If by faith it is possible that I will be married (and it is) and if as the Word teaches God is good (and He is)—then there is hope.