The Fear of Rejection
- Friday, February 14, 2003
Control Your Fear of Rejection
This, you may say, seems the hardest of them all. But fear of rejection is usually determined by the perceived importance of the person we're approaching. For example, you may get on an elevator and at the next floor a 70-year-old grandmother joins you. I'm willing to bet that if she says "Hello," you'll have no trouble striking up a light conversation as you reach the lobby. See, your brain doesn't sense that there is anything at stake in that encounter and your anxiety remains low.
Now replay the situation - instead of a 70 year old getting on the elevator, this time it's an extremely attractive and apparently single young lady. She says, "Hello." What do you do?
I believe that the key to keeping your fear in check in the second scenario is telling yourself that regardless of this encounter, you will eventually prevail. Or, as the old adage goes, "there are lots of fish in the sea." Sure you'd like to ask this attractive woman out. You're going to spend the few minutes you have focusing on her, asking her a question or two and listening to her answers, but if she isn't interested, that's just fine. You will certainly meet someone else.
Scott, this mental state will lessen the importance of THIS PARTICULAR MOMENT. Remove the pressure. Minimize the anxiety and fear. I'm confident that over time you'll become more at ease with yourself and women of all ages and types.
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