The myth of simplicity suggests that relationships should be simple but it has not been simple for me—perhaps not for you. I have taken each failed relationship with varying maturity but they have all hurt. All these relational collisions have led in the same direction—to the search for a simple answer. They have all led to the search for that one thing, or several things if need be, that will gain me the object of my desire. This is what Peter Gabriel calls “the fruitless searches.”

The “fruitless searches” lead us to the varied counselors who speak of the “10 Steps to Finding the Perfect Mate,” or the “Seven Steps to Being the Perfect Mate,” or the “Four Steps to Contentment in Singleness.” All these books and every page in them infers that all we need is to do this or do that. All we need are the right answers and the right methods, the proper steps and the full application and all will be well with our souls. It all sounds so simple.

The truth is that they make it seem so easy that after reading I wonder even more what is wrong with me and why love tarries. If it is so simple then why has it been so difficult for me? If it is so simple then what is the complication. And if I am not careful the carousel of reason will eventually return all blame to the one constant in the equation—me.

Oh I know no one writes these books with the intention of pouring salt in open wounds or ripping bandages from a healing cut. They are well meaning people who care and hope to help singles. But they unwittingly offer spoiled meat to starving souls and must not see the sickness they leave.

Relationships should not be as complicated as sin has made them but they should not be as simple as 1-2-3. It is a monumental decision that does not come about from two minutes in the microwave or a few properly administered methods. At the core of each Christians life is a belief, a confident faith that God is working on our behalf. So we try and try and try knowing that we want only what is of Him. This is the simplicity I embrace.


Hudson Russell Davis was born on a small Island in the West Indies called Dominica, and this is only one reason he does not like cold weather and loves guava.  He is a graduate of James Madison University with a B.A. in Graphic Design and earned a Masters in Theology from Dallas Theological Seminary.  Currently he is a Ph.D. candidate at Saint Louis University studying historical theology.  Hudson has worked as a graphic artist and worship leader but expresses himself through poetry, prose, photography, and music. His activities are just about anything outdoors, but tennis is his current passion.

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Marriage Survey:  Have you "heard from God" that you are definitely going to get married?  If so, I would like to hear your story.  Has God told you t

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3) that you would definitely get married?

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