If you have reached that point of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” listen! This is far more profound than the questions addressing our looks, size, shape, or accomplishments.

The question, “What is wrong with me?” does not concern the things we can do or the things we have done. It does not concern our appearance or our manners but our souls, our very being—who we are at the core.

This is a most dangerous place to be—measuring our worth by the favor of fickle men and women. It is a most dangerous question because we are not asking what is wrong with us in general principle—we are aware that plenty is wrong with us. We are asking, “Is what is wrong with me the cause of my singleness?”

But what if it were, as we suspected, simply a flaw in our very nature? What if there was nothing we could do to effect change to then be married? That would only confirm our desperate state and drive us toward hopelessness. The only help would be if, while we were yet helpless, while we were yet sinners, someone worked on our behalf (Romans 5:8). And this is how it is.

If our God cared enough to die for us then who could refuse to live with us? If God loved us enough to want to be with us, then what is wrong with us should not deter mere humans. Our hope lies outside ourselves, and it does not matter that our attempts at perfection meet with continual failure. It does not matter at all that we were not worthy of love in ourselves because there is one who makes us worthy—Jesus.

We are worthy of love? We are worthy of marriage because we are renewed and treasured in Christ. We shine the light of the gospel in such a way that his glory is evident in our lives, and we do this because it is our joy (Matthew 5:16, Matthew 13:43; Philippians 2:15). It is only natural that those who desire the warmth of the gospel should be drawn to us.

I will not say that nothing is wrong with you or that nothing is wrong with me. But what is wrong with us may have nothing to do with why we are single. Let me say it another way. We are frail, weak, foolish, sinful, depraved, and do not deserve the love of another person BUT!!!!!!!!—God! God is gracious and does not repay us as our sins deserve. Thank God!

What is wrong with us? Everything and nothing? We are both failing sinners who are being glorified, and we are positionally pure and justified—adopted children of the Universe Maker (Romans 8:30, Ephesians 1:5). We are being “transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit" (2 Corinthians 3:18). This being true, there is no reason someone should not be drawn to us. I don’t care where we have been. Christ has been there and has washed us clean.

No matter your faults there is grace enough to forgive and grace enough to bless.

No matter your weakness there is grace enough to cover and grace enough to aide.

No matter your sins grace is sufficient to forgive and cleanse all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).

What we deserve and what grace delivers are two separate things—thank God!

There are no happy couples together in marriage because they “deserve each other!” Those who deserve each other are miserable. We don’t “deserve” the blessing of marriage, but he is a gracious God. We will not receive what we “deserve”—THANK GOD!