I still remember when I was at the University of Chicago studying for my Doctorate that there were times when I was working hard and I was under great pressure. However, I always punctuated those long hard working times with something that I enjoyed doing. One of the things that I enjoyed doing was going to the University of Chicago bookstore. So I would study for two hours with the promise that I had then earned 15 minutes to visit the bookstore and just browse. I really enjoyed browsing through that store! It made me feel good about the way I was taking care of myself.


Don't overwork. Simply don't let yourself get so out of balance that life will become a drudge because all you are doing is working.


Simply put, thinking positively will begin to improve your self-esteem.


I would like to encourage you to think about deciding to literally mobilize your will to focus on your strengths far more often than you focus on your weaknesses. Begin to look at what it is about you that you can take pride in. What is it you like about the way you go about living your life?


It is so easy for us to become defect finders. We go at ourselves with a magnifying glass. We look for every little thing that is wrong, and when somebody asks about all the things about us that are right, we look at them quizzically, like we're surprised that they can see anything right about us. We have spent so much time thinking about what is wrong that we don't have much of a sense of all the things that are right about us. 


In that same vein, I would like to encourage you to consider purposely staying away from the negative parts of life.


The other night I was in a motel in San Antonio, Texas. It was Saturday night and I was watching television after a large seminar I'd held that day. I was aimlessly flipping around the dial when I came to a channel that was showing a violent movie. I found myself in my lethargy watching the bloodshed far too long. When I finally moved away, I focused for a few moments on how the effects of watching all that aggression had been on my own sense of self.


I honestly believe that when we let too much negativity into our lives we drag ourselves down.


My advice to you is purposely stay away from the negative parts of life and I think you will see a real effect on your self-esteem.


The eHarmony Research Library is a branch of eHarmony.com(tm), North America's most successful Relationship Building Service. Our precise technology searches a database of 500,000 persons to find truly compatible matches. Then, eHarmony's guided communication system helps you meet and get to know each other in an appropriate, in-depth manner. Click HERE to learn more about eHarmony.