What messes up most of our lives is the picture we have in our heads of how our lives are supposed to be. If that snapshot in your dream-scrapbook includes a husband by your side, you’re probably wondering about now where he is. Yeah, I thought he’d be here by now. 

Plenty of other godly, single women in every age range are thinking the same thing. Me included.

The way I see it, you and I have a choice in how we view that ideal life. You can choose to focus on the search for this ideal man and be on an incessant lookout for who you think will complete you. Or your other choice is to use that energy to discover the person you are, so when you do find him, you’ll have a whole, wonderful heart and life to offer him. And if you don’t, you’ve made a pretty wonderful life on your own.

I won’t wait till the end to remind you of an amazing truth for everyone who knows the Lord. Your life is already complete in Him (Read Colossians 1:28). You have what you need for a rich and full adventure as a single woman. God promises that He does not withhold favor and honor. And that He will “withhold no good thing from those who walk uprightly” (Psalm 84:11).  

So, think about this: God isn’t keeping that wonderful man from you. Nor has He forgotten that you’re over there waiting. You’re not on your own. You don’t have to invest all your energy looking right, or being in the right place at the right time to find God’s match for you. Instead, our energies are better spent growing every day into amazing women of God who will recognize God’s man when he shows up in our lives.

So, how do we do that? 

How do you become God’s beautiful, complete, gracious woman who is living a full, rich life—no matter how long we live our lives on our own, waiting for the day when/if God’s man shows up? As all of the Christian life, it’s a matter of faith. Trusting Jesus means leaving the choices with Him—the choice of a marriage partner, the choice of timing, the choice of your life’s direction with or without him.

I have found it very helpful to watch how other godly women live(d) in their singleness. Here are three of my heroes who were all single for most or all of their lives. Let’s get a snapshot on what they have to say about being the woman God blesses with a happy life.

1. Elisabeth Elliot, a women who learned how to wait on God. 

Elisabeth is on many people’s ‘most remarkable women’ list. She’s been married three times and widowed twice, yet has lived as a single woman for half of her 87 years. Her life was part of a story that shook the world in 1956 when five young missionaries risked everything to preach Christ to the Auca Indians of Ecuador.

Elisabeth has said that waiting on God has been a life-long discipline for her. She wrote to a single girl, “Wait patiently for the Lord. He will turn to you and hear your cry. It is amazing how clear things become when we are still before Him, not complaining, nor insisting on quick answers, only seeking to hear His word in the stillness, and to see things in His light. Few people are willing to receive that sort of reply. And while you wait, trust Him and go do the next thing you know you can do.”

2. Corrie ten Boom: a Holocaust survivor who traveled the world modeling forgiveness.

Before God placed her in the center arena after World War II, Corrie lived 52 relatively uneventful, obscure years in her childhood home with her parents, her also single sister, and their old maid aunts. Their decision to hide and help Jews escape the murderous Nazi holocaust cost her family their lives. Corrie alone survived.