Lead with Love 

Love is patient, love is kind.  Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.  Love does not demand its own way.  Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.  It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

I have heard these words spoken at almost every wedding ceremony that I have been a part of and I wonder if anyone really considers what this verse is saying.  Love is patient affects almost every other emotion or reaction in a relationship.

  • A patient person is less likely to be jealous, boastful, proud or rude
  • A patient person is probably less demanding
  • A patient person is probably more forgiving and understanding.
  • A patient person is more likely to listen first before reacting (and not react emotionally)
  • A patient person is more likely to wait on God

If love is patient, then patience is probably one of the most important traits a leader can have, especially if he wants to lead with love.

Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it….In the same way, husbands should love their wives as they love their own bodies.  The man who loves his wife loves himself.  No one ever hates his own body, but feeds and takes care of it.  And that is what Christ does for the church (Ephesians 5:25, 28-30).

Jesus’ message for us is clear.  We are to love our (future) wives as He loved the church, in a sacrificial and sanctifying way; we are to love her like we love ourselves.  It seems simple enough and it can be if we learn to take our eyes off of us and our personal desires.  If we place our eyes on the Lord, we will learn to live more sacrificially with our lives, our time and our prayers.  As we do, our lives will become an example of integrity and love to others.  This is what we can bring to a marriage.

So men, besides that ugly chair you can't get rid of, what are you bringing to a marriage?


 Cliff Young is a contributing writer to Sandlot Stories (ARose Books), as well as the monthly column, He Said-She Said, in Crosswalk.com's Singles Channel.  An architect and former youth worker, he now works with Christian musicians and consults for a number of Christian ministries. Got feedback?  Send your comments and questions to CYdmg@yahoo.com.