Have you and your friends ever looked at something, like a situation, an inanimate object, or a person and have come to totally different conclusions about it?  We all have.

I love how the human mind works – how fast it takes in data through the eyes, processes and compares it to personal desires and experiences in the mind, and formulates an instant impression.  I know men do this well, sometimes too well, especially when it comes to women (so I’m reminded by some of my female friends).

Many of them are “mature,” single, well established, have great jobs, own their own home, are very independent and are very happy.  They travel the world, they fix things around their homes and they serve in leadership roles in their church.  Maybe you know some women like this or possibly are one.  A question that I am often posed by them is this:  “What do Christian guys think of women like me?”  Knowing that this is a loaded question, I usually find some politically correct answer that seems to pacify them for the moment and move on.

I am now ready to come clean.

Not trying to speak for the entire single Christian male population, I’ve done some smaller-scale research and have come up with some non-scientific results in order to help women to better understand guys, as well as attempt to educate some men out there, if willing.

So, what do men think about successful, independent women?  I’ve broken it down into three major impressions with male personality types associated with each. 

DISCLAIMER:  This is NOT an exact science, and there are generalizations in each category.  There is no one specifically who I was thinking of while writing this.

Attraction and Admiration

Many men are actually attracted to and admire women who are independent, self-assured, and established, no matter what some of you may think.  There is respect for what they’ve been able to accomplish in their lives and who they are as people.  Some of these skills are obtained out of necessity, but nevertheless many men find these qualities quite attractive.

Men who are drawn to independent, successful women usually fit into either of two categories.  They are either themselves independent, self-assured, and established, or they are very dependent, unsure of themselves and basically “mama’s-boy” (looking for someone to take care of them). 

Men in the former group are more confident, know what they want and enjoy what they do.  They are usually ones who enjoy less “high maintenance” types of women and doing things for them out of desire rather than out of obligation or need.

Men in the latter group are those who may enjoy a stronger type of woman, who does not necessarily replace their mother, but are a satisfactory substitute or augment their mother in the relationship.  Men with no purpose or direction seem to be drawn to women like this in order to have a purpose. 

Women often enjoy the attention and company of these types of guys for awhile, being the center of a guy’s attention and being needed, but soon realize that they have nothing to bring to the relationship.  Some women oblige in order just to have a relationship. 


The most common reply from women as to why they are still single is that “men are intimidated” by them.  Many men can be intimidated by a woman who is capable of doing everything for herself.  Being with an independent woman can expose weaknesses or challenge a man’s abilities in the skills that she knows, thus injuring his ego.  They may look at women like this as threatening to their manhood and cause them to run.  It’s true (sorry guys).  Nobody wants to be shown up by others, and our society has made it a weakness for a guy to not be able to do something better than a woman.