"To another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another discerning of spirits; to another divers kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues..." 1 Corinthians 12:10

How should we share our faith with others if everyone sees and reacts to things differently? When sharing our faith, it is important to remember two very important things about communication skills: 1) communicate so they can understand, and 2) know your audience.

The first rule of communication is that it is the speaker's job to be understood, and not the listener's job to understand. It is my job to speak in a way that allows you to understand what I am saying. It is not your job to try to decipher what I just said. If we understand this principle, we will make more of an effort to make our communication clear, and we will not get frustrated with our listeners if they need clarification. In addition, we will tailor our communication to speak directly to them.

In order to tailor our communication to a specific listener or audience, we will need to understand them better. This is called knowing your audience. The more you know about the people you communicate with, the better you will be able to relate to them. An obvious example would be that if you know Mildred's mother recently passed away, you wouldn't ask her what she got her mother for Mother's Day. Similarly, if you knew that Sally's aunt had badgered her for years about going to church, but that she was open to a discussion about God, you could share what you believe with Sally and be reasonably sure that she would listen unless you invited her to church on Sunday.

It would be helpful if everyone had a sign hanging around their neck that gave you a synopsis of their worldview, wouldn't it? How about introducing a new communication custom whereby each participant in a conversation announces their beliefs so that all parties involved understand them better before engaging in a discussion? The likelihood of these ideas being implemented anytime soon isn't high, so how can you get to know your audience better?

God gives us discernment, and effective communication skills can help bring people's views to light. Sometimes the person will come out and tell you what they think about a topic: "I'm Pro-Choice!" Sometimes you can discern what they think by their body language. If, after you begin sharing your faith, John suddenly takes an unusual interest in the floor, he is probably uncomfortable. If he changes the subject, suddenly develops an uncontrollable craving for borsht, or remembers that he has to pick up his grandmother from the airport in five minutes, you can be reasonably sure he isn't open right now. Knowing your audience requires active listening. Active listening allows us to hear what they say as well as discern by what they do not say. Active listening takes some practice to cultivate.

"But all these worketh that one and the selfsame Spirit, dividing to every man severally as he will." 1 Corinthians 12:11