Yes, relax! So many people, both long-term homeschoolers and newcomers to homeschooling, have a difficult time grasping the idea that the high school years can be relaxed. "Relaxed" means you accept who your teenage children are and help them to focus on their strengths and interests. "Relaxed" means you are not constantly second-guessing what you decided yesterday or last year. "Relaxed" also means you are flexible enough to consider change when the need arises.

SO HOW CAN WE BECOME MORE RELAXED?

Some people seem more relaxed by nature. Perhaps, we think, it isn't a possibility for everyone. What exactly does the "relaxed" mode of homeschooling entail anyway?

First of all, as parents, we know that our kids are different from each other in many ways—personalities, needs (emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental), learning styles, gifts, passions, etc. I marvel at this phenomenon again and again with each of my children. You'd think that somewhere in my gang I'd find "twins" of sorts, but no—the variations are endless!

As a matter of fact, after more than sixteen years of homeschooling my own kids and watching hundreds of other families do the same, I have to say that I do not believe there is any one right or best way to homeschool. Of course, those of us who have homeschooled even just a few years know this quite well—in our heads. However, sometimes we fall into the trap of comparing our kids and our methods to others, and that almost always leads to problems.

Over the years I have seen many different methods of homeschooling work quite well with various kids. I know homeschoolers who followed an unschooling path all the way through high school and who are now doing an excellent job in college. I know several teens that were educated through classical homeschooling, many whose families utilized the unit study/hands-on homeschooling method, and of course, those who went the more traditional "textbook" route. I know families who are devoted followers of just one curriculum, and I know people who swear by an eclectic mixture of this and that.

Yet, all of these styles of homeschooling can be done in a relaxed manner—or not. The exact method used really has very little to do with the relaxed element that is so important. Those homeschool families who suffer burnout and who often end up placing their teens in the local school system are usually those who never learned to enjoy the benefits of relaxed homeschooling.

Many homeschoolers think the relaxed method of homeschooling sounds great for the younger years, but they fear that following this route during high school might not be a wise idea. Perhaps their teenaged children would miss out on the advanced level of academics necessary for college, or perhaps a relaxed education might lead to a lack of discipline and order in the home and in the student's life.

Actually, the reality of a relaxed high school education is quite different than what some people expect. When teens enjoy the benefits of relaxed homeschooling, they have the chance to learn and practice self-discipline on a daily basis. When students have the opportunity to choose what they will study, when, and how, there is no limit to the advanced level of academic achievement they can reach. Our personal experience of relaxed high school homeschooling has led to such results as early high school and college graduation with high honors for our first child, as well as acceptance to many respected, selective colleges and full academic scholarships for both of our oldest children. More importantly, we have watched our three oldest children grow into strong leaders who are sure of their convictions and their special calls in life.