Gentling, by definition, means "to raise from commonality." I like it. The word gentle also means, "tractable, docile, free from harshness, sternness, or violence." A tractable horse is one which is easily lead, handled, and managed. Gentle also means "belonging to a family of high social station." (emphasis mine) I'm not kidding on that one. Look it up. To gentle a young horse you remove its natural fears, aggression, and resistance by building trust. It takes some time initially, but in the long run it is the most beneficial form of training.

Without even realizing it, I had been employing the same techniques on my anti-homeschool neighbor that I use with horses: overcome resistance by building trust. It won't matter if you are trying to train horses or convince others that homeschoolers can socialize, two credible influences that can change the thoughts of man and beast are gentleness and truth. Truth can stand on its own, but gentleness draws the heart.

My goal is to have a gentle loving home, children, church, and animals -- uncommonly so. That means I have to be a leader, father, pastor, and trainer who is gentle in the way I speak, teach, live, and gentle in the way I draw others to truth. The truth is: my children are kind to animals. The foals don't know this fact until they experience the gentleness, then they believe it. The truth is: homeschooled children can socialize just fine. The opposition may not know this until they experience their uncommonly gentle behavior, then they will be convinced.

Gentleness is an art. It requires time and patience, but the end result proves it is the best training method; it produces the highest yield. Oh, that more of us took the gentle approach! Imagine the mountains that could be moved; the resistance that could be eliminated; the hurt that could be avoided; the joy that could be owned. For Christians, gentleness is a natural by-product of the indwelling Spirit of God. It is a medium in which God intended for us to develop great proficiency.

"But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace."  James 3:17, 18

"And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient." II Timothy 2:24

"Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation: and thy right hand hath holden me up, and thy gentleness hath made me great."  Psalm 18:35

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Timothy Palla is a pastor, author, and horseman. He and his lovely wife, Jennifer, have five children; Drew, Dane, Aidan, Ethan, and Meghan. They have been involved in homeschooling since 1993. You may contact him at tpalla@rocketmail.com.