2. Put a high-quality internet screening/blocking software on the computer. Maintain appropriate blocking levels on the browser software (blocking access to certain web content, links or photos) and don’t back down on that, even if your teen complains that it blocks some popular sites like MySpace or the music downloads he wants to make.

3. Take the computer out of the bedroom and put it out in an open area with the monitor visible from various angles. Don’t allow access unless you are in the room.  After all, would you let just anyone, even a registered sex offender, into your house to talk to your teen?  Of course not.  That portal to the outside world needs monitoring.

4. Periodically view their internet “browser history” and follow the trail. You’ll be amazed. Software is available to secretly record their every move, if needed, especially if you think they are accessing the internet overnight or when you aren’t home.

5. If you feel there is a good reason to do so, read their email.  And find out who it is they are chatting with. As much as possible, keep them from accessing chat rooms, which is where most sex offenders and predators reside.  

This is not a license to be over-controlling to the point where it pushes your child away. I’m encouraging you to be proactive and not have to face the regrets that come with “not knowing.” The fact is, kids are actively being stalked on the internet today and in their typical daring way they welcome the excitement of it all and they love role-playing in chat rooms.

I often say to teens, “Violation of my policy means violation of your privacy.” If they violate my set house rules, including internet usage rules, it should also change their expectation of privacy. If they are dishonest and lie to me, I will seek, search, and look in areas I don’t normally look in order to find answers. If they are deceptive, I will investigate. If they lie, I will pry. If they hide something, I will seek relevant information. Why? Because, as a parent, I am concerned about the life of my child, and I am responsible maintaining a sound and safe environment in the home until my child becomes an adult.

If your children are young, implement rules now to help keep you “in the know.” As your kids approach the teen years, update or add some new rules. Unless something in your teen’s life is out of control or there has been a recent change in the behavior, mood, or school grades, then a parent should keep in the know by just “looking around” and keeping an eye on things. 

Tell Them You Are Watching

All parents must “keep a vigilant eye” on teenagers today.  Call it an “alert mom or dad,”  or an “involved parent,” if you will.  Be a parent who says, “I will continue to be someone who has your back, even when you don’t realize the serious nature of what you’re getting in to.” Let your teens know it is your job as a parent to keep your eyes wide open to look for anything going wrong.  Not so you can “catch them doing wrong,” but so that you can help them from falling into that trap.