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How to Instill Humility in Your Children...Continued from page 1

Pat Williams

Author, Souls of Steel

One way to encourage kids to admit mistakes is by showing mercy when they confess their sins and errors. Tell them over and over again that, when they fail or sin, they can always be forgiven and accepted. A confession will always make life easier for them than a cover-up or a lie. Kids who feel they can safely go to their parents with the awful truth are much less likely to be dishonest and defensive.

Another way to encourage kids to admit mistakes is to set an example by admitting our own errors. Some parents feel they need to keep up a false front of perfection in front of their kids. They feel that admitting mistakes would diminish them in their children's eyes. In reality, when we as parents say to our kids, "I was wrong, please forgive me," we are actually magnified in their eyes.

3. Teach kids to demonstrate empathy toward others. Because humility is essentially a matter of considering the needs and feelings of others, children need to learn sensitivity to the feelings of others.

Debbie Fahmie is the music specialist at Cypress Elementary School in Osceola County, Florida, and president of the Florida Elementary Music Educators Association. She uses music education to build character—and especially to encourage empathy in young people. She has a heart for students with problems and needs.

"The neediest of students," she told me, "are the ones who made me really dig deep into my soul. It's the students who are life's 'throw-aways,' the 'unlovable kids,' who inspire me and bring out my empathy for others. I don't believe a person can have true character without empathy for all of humankind. The person of true character will do good to others—not to be recognized, but simply because it's the right thing to do.

"I use cooperative learning to bring out my students' empathy for each other. I teach my students how to help the child who is struggling, how to befriend the unlovable child, how to bring out the best in others around them. Again and again, my students discover it feels good to do good to others. Instead of bribing kids with candy and tokens, we should motivate kids to seek that inner incentive and warm feeling of doing good to others. That intrinsic reward is so much more valuable than a material incentive.

"Music is the perfect medium for allowing students to experience the harmony of working together and the pitfalls of focusing purely on self. Empathy and humility work together in the lives of these students to produce character and compassion. If we can influence young people to become caring and compassionate, we will give a wonderful gift to the world."

4. Teach young people to take satisfaction rather than pride in their accomplishments. When children perform well or achieve a goal, it's good for them to feel that warm glow of joy that comes from a job well done. But let them know that arrogant or disrespectful behavior is not permitted.

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