Mom’s Attitude

Besides embracing the vision of “teamship” among the family members, your attitude is crucial to the atmosphere of the home, which permeates the attitudes of your children and their willingness to work cheerfully. If we moms do our tasks grudgingly, we cannot expect one bit more from our children. At the heart of this willingness to work is gratitude. Gratitude for everything. If I am tempted to grumble about all the dishes that need to be washed, instead I say (out loud so my children can hear), “I am so thankful for all these dirty dishes.” Then I ask my children, “Do you know why I’m thankful?” And by now, one of them always says, “Because it means we had plenty to eat!” Perspective is everything. There are always things to be thankful for. If you are in the habit of grumbling, STOP! Of course we all fall victim to the “mully-grubs” from time to time, but try not to let that sour attitude hang around for very long. Begin to verbalize thankfulness, and soon your heart will feel it. There are few things more wonderful to pass on to our children than the gift of thankfulness. It is a life-changing attitude!

I often point out to my children, after hearing some tragic news story or event, how blessed we are. Even when we go through hard times ourselves, there is still so much that we can thank the Lord for. It really does make a huge impact on the temperament of the home. Make the words of Paul your mott “I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content” (Phil. 4:11).

The Power of Words

The words that we speak to our children will largely impact the kind of children they will become and the character they will develop. The Bible tells us that “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Prov. 18:21).  Words are a very powerful tool in shaping our children. As parents, we can either use our words to build our children up or to tear them down. We can help move them down the right road or push them down the wrong road.

Let me give you an example of a typical comment you may hear in our home. First, I stop what I’m doing, kneel down so I can look directly into the child’s eyes, and say something like, “I just saw you pick up the toys that you got out. Do you know what a blessing that is to me? When you help like that, your little sisters and brothers see you, and then they want to help, too. What you just did was so responsible and diligent. I am so proud of the way you are a part of this team.” Now, some may think that I’m going a little overboard. But overboard about what? About instilling the importance of diligence?  Children love the genuine praise of their parents. You can see them beam as you praise them. (Of course, we should make sure most of our praise focuses on character and not on outward appearance, achievement, or some trait they cannot control.) This is a very important step in encouraging helpfulness. I attribute these “praise moments” as the most influential part of training my children to be helpful.