Above all this, though, I’m thrilled to report that his greatest improvements have been social! The idea that a child with social delays and challenges is well served by immersing him in the jungle that is public school, where the law is “survival of the fittest,” is ludicrous. Children with autism or Asperger’s or similar conditions will never be “the fittest,” and they often pay terrible consequences for their inability to navigate that social world. Homeschooling is not only a viable option for these children, but I will dare to say that it is the ideal option. We’ve seen it, for sure, but others in our life also look at Luke and repeatedly exclaim, “He is not the same child!”

What’s made the difference? First and foremost, he is at peace. He spends his days with people who love him. He knows what to expect, and his anxiety level is down to a baseline. That alone sets him up for success! Additionally, he has his siblings to practice social skills with all day. Therapy? Yes, 24/7 and completely free! Conflict resolution, conversational turn taking, compromise, imaginary play, initiating, leading, following—all take place under this very roof, even as I sit here typing these words! I hang back to let them “work it out,” but I also intervene and guide when needed. This provides perfect opportunities to teach and train, in ways that are meaningful and can be applied to social situations in the future. He is getting it, and the progress has been amazing!

But beyond that, he has friends now, outside our immediate family. This was never true before. I have hand-picked a few activities to ensure that each child has opportunities to pursue his or her interests. Seeing the same faces each week in calm, safe environments has allowed Luke to feel comfortable with a network of other children, and they honestly consider each other to be friends. It takes work and guidance, but it is happening. He invited several of them to his birthday party earlier this week. He engaged with them, enjoyed them, and thanked each one personally. In fact, he appeared so at ease and so “typical” that his father and I marveled at the fact that an outsider looking in, at that moment, would never guess he was so challenged. He even caught the eye of a pretty little girl who could not get enough of him! Indeed, it is far too early for that, but to see little glimpses of what may be one day brought much encouragement my way. Our boy is a good friend to others, and he has friends!

We are completely sold on homeschooling now. Luke is a case in point that a child with challenges and delays is at risk of totally sinking in a public school classroom. I can say with certainty that he would not be performing anywhere near this level, academically, had we not brought him home. But what I want to drive home is the point that the real success has been social! Culture would have us believe that homeschooling is an antisocial choice, but this little boy is proof otherwise. True socialization takes place in the presence of loving adults, respectful peers, and within the parameters of guidance and protection. “Survival of the fittest” breeds bullies and victims, manipulators and braggarts, haves and have-nots. In utter contrast, Luke is kind to everyone he meets, regardless of their status or situation. He can hold a conversation with an adult or a 1-year-old and does so, more often than not, with little help from me. This has been the true success of homeschooling Luke, and I’m so thankful and blessed to get to be a part of it!

Michelle McConnell and her husband, Eric, homeschool their three children in Cornelius, . Michelle enjoys writing, hiking, karate, and vanilla lattes. She welcomes questions and comments directed to teachermommy@roadrunner.com.

Copyright 2007.

Originally appeared in The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, Summer 2007. Used with permission. Right now, 19 free gifts when you subscribe. www.TheHomeschoolMagazine.com